Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
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Top comments
pancakerocks 1
intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower
krustacea 1
I've done that.
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Comments (230)
dayzz1 10
Ok I think I threw up a little, that's disgusting!
Tess_fml 7
Doesn't everyone do that at some point? Lighetn up, people.
emmacharbs 1
That is disgusting. I hope you enjoyed it anon
insanelyXnikki 18
I wonder if you had left the same underwear on for two days as well... Yuck
RomoniReed 6
Urr?
lmngrl889 14
Ew! lol
ch00k 5
I live in QLD. The steamy weather we've been having the last two days, you must reek.
Platinum_Pie 4
uhm..... what?
kayC7 0
Congratulations, you're disgusting
ilovechrissy14 0
Gross