Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.
Omfgitsmia 15
Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?
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Comments (150)
Omfgitsmia 15
Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?
jazzy_123 20
Shower when they're not home..?
SmuggletheBudgie 15
By the looks of it they would know if he turned the shower on for half a second let alone actually taking one.
patrickalamo 48
Join a gym and shower there.
starile 20
Offer to shower with your parents! Statistics show that sharing shower time greatly decreases water usage! I'm sure they'll appreciate how helpful you're being. Then they'll leave your ass alone.
xBethanyC 15
You should get really smelly and then go stretch your arms up in front of them or give them a hug. Maybe they'll reevaluate their decision.
jkmartinjk 16
If I was OP, I would lock the bathroom door (if possible) or put a heavy object in front of the door and shower till my hearts content.
SuperMew 22
I think his parents are being mental. I understand wanting to cut out bills, but there has to be other things you could do without first? My parents went through some hard times and there were times when we had to cut out the treats to meet out needs. We cut junk food, cable, and cereal first before we cut the water.
Ambient25 25
OP should check their cable bill and make sure HBO or a movie channel weren't "suspiciously" added to the list.
MrsDruidess 23
maybe this is their genius way of making sure you can't get laid? Cheap birth control lol. Sorry for your pain OP
Gixie 25
Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.
rocker_chick105 31
If people don't get this, look at OP's name...
purple_glitter 10
I don't know why you go thumbed down #3. Your comment made me laugh.
Acacia21 23
They probably didn't look at OP's name. It took me a moment.
1947Chevy 17
Perhaps the air movement will disperse the smell
Madridsta1999 7
And the comment of the year award goes to... *drum roll* ITS #3!!!
Sports_guy3 28
Hey... the year just started!
Warm_Apple_Pie 21
LOL!! XD
Adhdkid107 9
Have you told them what you've been doing OP, because maybe they'll understand how extreme it's gotten...
caseyroyer 8
What's OP
RandomPenguin 13
Octopus Penis
RandomPenguin 13
Octopus Penis
amoredeniro 21
original poster. the person who began this thread.
SillyGirl4602 23
The person who wrote the FML. Not the person who began the thread.
Sports_guy3 28
#74, put you're phone/computer down, and throw it out the window. Along with the Whiskey bottle.
JasonUMN 15
Is there a local YMCA, college dorm, or a gym you could shower at instead? That sucks though, op.
persianninja 23
Everyone's insane it's to what degree that matters
tellyc 27
Deodorant maybe?
mario2012 18
Deodorant isn't the full solution.
tellyc 27
It definitely isn't. But it will help!
Morqan_Freeman 14
Deodorant is an amazing solution. Of course you would have to use Old Spice though. UP TO 16HOURS OF PROTEEEECTIOONNN!!!! EVEN WHILE READING THIS COMMENT YOU CAN SMELLL ITTT!!!! PA PA PA PA PA POWERRR!!!
ballplaya52 10
Deodorant. Use it.
mario2012 18
Read my reply to 7.
SillyGirl4602 23
How do we know that op isn't already using deodorant? Deodorant will only go so far. If you wear deodorant every day but don't shower, then it isn't going to work very well.
Kazze 31
Axe isn't shower-in-a-can. I don't think that would go over well.
Devyn333 16
Get a gym membership and shower there.
msstark 2
That would kind of defeat the point of saving money...
TurquoiseJesus 15
The guy isnt trying to save money, the parents are. Assuming he is old enough to work, then he can pay for it himself.
thejewishfuhrer 17
When people misuse the word "literally" it drives me figuratively insane. What degree is that?
rich443 22
sounds like a smelly situation
mario2012 18
What smells is your comment.
Enslaved 38
"Ooh, that smell Can't you smell that smell? Ooh, that smell The smell of death surrounds you" **The first and only time I watched the show "Extreme Cheapskate", there was a family of 4 that ALL shared the same bathtub water. By the time the last person bathed, the tub water was black. Let's hope the OP's parents don't get pointers from that show. I was so grossed out!
klovemachine 24
11, your comment is awesome, you win :)
Sports_guy3 28
Then why was it downvoted,#98? Hm?
klovemachine 24
Because people have no sense of humor :P fortunately, I have one :)