Weird flex, but OK
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
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Top comments
pancakerocks 1
intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower
krustacea 1
I've done that.
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Comments (230)
SantanaJ710 1
Dats just disgusting. Why wouldn't you take a shower for 2 days?
DjeePee 25
Because it's very unhealthy and damages your skin. However, there's nothing wrong with washing your armpits daily with water. Yes, this post is again meant to be thumbed down.
Urbanchiller 0
guess i am damaging my skin by showering twice a day, hmm i should stop for a while to cope up with the damage i have caused.
dumboears 8
If you have extremely sensitive/dry skin then you might not shower every day. It sucks when you get out of the shower and your skin is burning.
DjeePee 25
Not only if you have a sensitive/dry skin. When I had a severe form of eczema beneath my eyes, my dermatologist immediately asked how many baths I take a week. Showering/bathing daily can cause a sensitive/dry skin, herp derp.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
As DJeePee said, not showering for a couple of days does not mean not washing important places individually. Also, diet plays a huge factor in the way you smell. The foods you eat not only affect whether your natural smell is better or worse, but can even make it smell like them. Healthier people generally smell better overall, although certain good foods, like garlic, can come through if too much is consumed.
raphanne_fml 33
I have dry skin too, but I can shower everyday. I just have to put moisturizing cream from head to toes afterwards.
emilieee_fml 0
In the winter my skin gets so dry i can sit down because my skin is so sensitive and irritated, the cold air dries it out so much that if i did take a shower everyday, thered be none of me left!! And this is where you need europian set up bathrooms:) they have bedays sooooooo your parts stay clean!!!:)
raphanne_fml 33
I think you mean bidet. It's an old invention, and you can hardly find them anymore in Europe, except for Greece, Spain, Portugal and Italy.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
You can still find them in the US at "romantic getaway" hotels. ;) Couldn't imagine why, though.
raphanne_fml 33
Come on, I'm sure you can imagine something. May the shrooms be with you.
AlikeSeeker9 10
I ate like 2 packs (4) chocolate debbies(?) cupcakes before and the next day after, my arm pits smelled like cup cakes.. X.x;... It was odd...
lajaynay 15
You may enjoy it but everyone else does not and will probably avoid getting too close to you.
KiddNYC1O 22
Onion bagel, anyone?
wrwrestler8 4
This is doubly gross because you're a girl, and you definitely should be taking care of your hygiene. ============================ And before anybody shrieks "sexist!!" at the top of their lungs, lets examine evolutionary attraction: Women are attracted to men who are dominant, can provide for them, who are leaders of men, athletic, smart, charismatic, popular, rich, etc. They want SURVIVAL. Men look for the REPLICATION factor in women. They want HEALTHY, good smelling, sexy looking, clean, women who would take good care of the babies. This includes being responsible and clean bcuz if a woman can't even bathe herself regularly, who says shes gonna feed the baby regularly? =========================== We can't help what we are evolutionarily attracted to. So you are, in essence, a FAILURE in human evolutionary biology, if you are attracted to smelling your own armpits, and if you don't have a gene that compels you to shower and fit in.
boydeee01 7
I tried to thumb up your comment, but the thumbs up went off the screen on my phone -___-
themattfufu 0
+5. I enjoy reading of others' appreciation and understanding of evolution.
xalerion 0
Don't forget pheromones :)
pancakerocks 1
personally. i think comments like this, that inform, are the best. i wish i could thumb you up multible times.
thenomad 7
I wasn't aware of a shower gene. I thought the lack of showering stems from laziness. Last I checked pheromones, personality, and appearance have a lot to do with attraction between people; not how much his paycheck is. I may be wrong...
DjeePee 25
31, then you certainly must be annoyed that 18 doesn't know that much about evolution. Otherwise he would have mentioned that someone's personal body odour is an important factor in attracting potential partners and that OP therefore is winning in human evolutionary biology. There's a difference between not bathing for two days and not being a clean, sexy looking, good smelling (perhaps her pheromones smells nice, OP does enjoy smelling them), healthy woman who is uncapable to take care of herself and future children. Nice try, though.
hthelittleone 10
Phowned.
pancakerocks 1
In a way 17 is right. we have become acustom to showering. i could be pulling strings out of the sky. but isnt what 17 saying darwinism?
thenomad 7
64- yes. Stems from the survival of the fittest theory. We instinctively want our children to be as genetically superior as possible to carry on our genetics to future generations, rather than be inferior and potentially die off.
Wederoney 16
58, Oh I wish I could thumb you down multiple times.
cooLING 0
No, #58, #17 IS correct. The pheromone process wouldn't occur in this instance because her outstanding body odor would negate it. Your natural pheromones can be sensed even if you shower daily, though that's assuming you don't have perfume on. From a personal perspective [as a girl], it's not attractive to have an overwhelming BO. It's sending the signal that since one isn't bothering to have good hygiene, one is not bothering to look for a mate.
DjeePee 25
Ah, but who says she has an outstanding body odor? I interpretate 17's post as: 'you don't deserve to procreate if your armpits doesn't smell like fresh flowers!', a little bit exaggerated, but still...
Mimasita 1
woohoo to you! originally i was going to write "gross" to this OP's fml, but i've been reading so much comments here and learning new things all of a sudden. lol should i thank the OP for their weird FML? haha
tobedd 13
Did it for you
Webslinger66 10
Wow. Nice.
AlwaysCracked 6
Actually when you start studying for a masters in Women's Studies you realize that most theories of evolutionary attraction are quite wrong. They really have little proof proving them right and alot of proof proving them wrong. We are attracted to women with nice smells and caring attitudes and men with money and strength because of a social aspect, not a genetic one.
lylotrezor 20
Human beings went for a VERY long time without showers and they survived, AND they did not suffer as many allergies or autoimmune diseases or cancers as they do now. Also, a gene that compels one to shower? This might be the most ridiculous thing I've read on this site this far.
cooLING 0
You know that people still perfumed themselves even if they didn't bathe, right? Anthropology and modern written accounts point that out. Or that Women's studies is an entirely different view point than from evolutionary biology, hence why everything is "wrong". All that this discussion proves is that the only things that matter are one's personal opinion or what field one specializes in.
Pelreskovich 11
You have an issue.. Fetish or not, disgusting. Take a damn shower you filthy animal.
lylotrezor 20
Last time I checked, human beings were not plants. :D
Beeitch_ 1
Only my girl likes how my b o smells. Not even i do.
ohmandapants 17
I don't understand what "pleasure" you got from that, you're disgusting. Go shower and put some deodorant on. Unless you meant you hadn't showered for two days and after finally doing so, you had the pleasure of smelling your clean armpits. In any case, that's disgusting.
TheOnlyAlan 0
I get my pleasure other ways, but I guess we all have our own disturbing fetishes.... Or maybe it's just you.
kristena103 14
Umm. What's wrong with these fmls today?
Lludes 5
How is this fml? It's fml for anyone around you. Also why would share this. You are decussating!
ohmandapants 17
Sorry! The comment I was replying to got deleted.