Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
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Top comments
pancakerocks 1
intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower
krustacea 1
I've done that.
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Comments (230)
themattfufu 0
I don't take pleasure in it, but when my pits stink, I don't mind sniffing them.
CuddleMePanda 0
Were you high or something lol.
eshie11 0
"mmm, armpits" ? no.
hateevryone 15
What type of pleasure do you get out of that?
RockDrRoll 9
I concur: F (every1 around u) L.. Just bc u lk ur own brand doesnt make it ok. Honestly h8 to imagine wat else is gone funky on u lolz
AnagenisisZagus 13
I died while reading this comment.
DocBastard 40
Sorry, but I have to run this through my Idiot-English Translation Engine: *whirr* *click* *bzzzzz* *DING!* "I concur. **** the lives of everyone around you. Just because you like your own brand of odor doesn't make it ok. I would honestly hate to imagine what else has gone awry with you. I have tentacles for fingers, hence my horrible typing." You're welcome.
RockDrRoll 9
rofl Grammar Troll!.. I love knwing my fantastic shortcuts 4 FML mobile can cause another person 2 police the internet.. Lolz FYL GNazi.
DocBastard 40
I took pleasure in hitting the "You deserved it" button, stinky.
lhfireman 0
you then sniffed the underwear you've been wearing in those 2 days followed by a finger run up your ass crack before deciding that a dead skunk in the summer thrown in a sewage tank smells better
dmac843 2
Not everyone enjoys artificial fragrances on people. I personally prefer the natural smell of people (within reason) and really dislike most colognes, perfumes, deodorants and the like. Some people have very strong bo, some don't. Depends on diet and other factors.
dmac843 2
Time to learn the Five Finger Death Punch. You should only hafta use it a couple of times for the li'l crumb snatchers to get the idea and straighten up.
AnagenisisZagus 13
You sound like my kind of lady. With someone like you, dirty, nasty sex would take on a whole other meaning!
Arashi_Nightmare 8
You sound like some kind of creep. Besides, I'm assuming that because this is an FML, OP doesn't exactly love being dirty all the time :I