Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
emjoy 0
That is horrifying. I hope you ended it there
causelifehappens 0
haha, what did you expect you met him online.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
l0ve2d4nce 0
YDI for meeting a creeper online.... never make that mistake again!!
grassa 0
ya shot
ScaryyMary 14
The first sentence is an FML in itself.
leadrunner751 3
he's just pissy because you didn't give him a bj
martic835 2
On the first night? He must be crazy! Anyways...I met my boyfriend online (we live in the same city less than 5 miles apart) and four months later we're still going strong. Sometimes it's just meant to be and other times its not. I definitely went through a lot of guys until I found him. Keep looking and only do sexual stuff if you feel comfortable with it.
cryssycakesx3 23
2 years with mine...
JF4509 0
YDI for dating online.
fister13 0
But I LOVE fat girl head. I would let you give me head
frikkinhannah 0
Perdix is amazing.
sunshine_roovers 2
ydi for online dating
cinnamondiva 0
I'm mad he even suggested that idea