Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
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Top comments
emjoy 0
That is horrifying. I hope you ended it there
causelifehappens 0
haha, what did you expect you met him online.
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Comments (70)
ladybug108 0
most of u have no hearts. i see nothing wrong with on line dating. and her weight is of her own business. how would u all feel of somebody assumed something about you that wasn't true?
sdoneill48 0
shoulda given him the *******....
BullletProof 5
Rule of thumb for you boys: Blow jobs shouldnt be asked for. Nothing makes a woman want to do it less then a guys asking - no matter how you word it its going to sound rude and give undertones of you using her just for that. Just wait until she's comfortible doing something like that - she will take the initiative when she's ready. Its okay to bring it up once but don't pester. That is SO annoying.
QueenOrangeSoda 21
Ever heard of consent? Without asking, the chick's basically raping him.
tutti77 3
Cuddling is enough for me...
sammyjo06 14
Guys, it doesn't matter if she's fat or not. There are a lot of guys out there that will call girls with flat stomachs "big" if they're a bit thicker/curvier, so keep in mind she might not even be fat. Even if she is, though, she didn't deserve the comment. It was very disrespectful.
nick3228 1
Quit being a bitch
jazzyjazz04 14
That's messed up.
myoukei 31
Doing what? Eating meat?
khrystwiztidkid 15
Sounds like he watches just a biittt too much chubby chaser ****.
twerking_riggs 22
"on-line"