Sex Intimacy Weird assumption

Weird assumption

writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

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Double standard

NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

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Pushy

Anonymous - 05/08/2021 22:02

Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML

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omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

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Enticing

Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

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Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

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Ice-breaker

bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

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Anonymous - 03/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

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Underperforming

ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

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No nut will do that

Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

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Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

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emjoy 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:21

That is horrifying. I hope you ended it there

causelifehappens 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:38

haha, what did you expect you met him online.

annie91 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:15

ew I hope u slappedhim!!!

mistershlong 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:33

don't be a bitch just suck his dick no biggie

SumKid_fml 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:37

Too many desperate guys online. What did u expect?

erizzz 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:55

big girls don't like it- but they do it cuz they can't get a date otherwise lol

adonals 0

Monday 18 January 2010 3:04

lmao nice.

gilly011 0

Monday 18 January 2010 3:06

ok wait. so you met this guy online && he took you home upon the first time meeting you? wow. so you sound easy, what was the problem?

3rw0n 0

Monday 18 January 2010 3:48

lol

saladgirl123 0

Monday 18 January 2010 3:55

fat girls try harder.

Ritz190 0

Monday 18 January 2010 4:29

XD damn dude. I like fat chicks but you kinda lead him on by cuddling with him....potential serial killer. O.o

Newbie21 1

Monday 18 January 2010 5:08

FYL for resorting to online dating

danzer827 0

Monday 18 January 2010 8:51

did he really thinkbthat comment was goin to change ur mind?

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

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Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

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Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML

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Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

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