Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
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Top comments
organizse 28
Bang on the walls and tell him "I can do better"
julianbozikovic 20
Leave a sex tip book for your neighbor on his door! I think he'll get the hint :D
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Comments (89)
trippyturts 7
You should of called her out on it OP!
justindrew14 29
Either her fake moans are really obvious about to everyone but him or you've done her before and that's how you know she's faking it. Unless she's cheated on him with someone else.
gearhead369 20
Covering all your bases with that comment?
Retaheki 27
Or, the dude was too into it to realize she was faking.
dgguy2006 16
And you know the O.P. is female, right?
soullyfe 33
OP could be into women. You never know.
Mauskau 36
If you've ever listened to **** you'll hear the fake moans. Well men tend not to but women can. No one moans as soon as they're touched.
zombldy 6
#45 I moan very easily...it's actually a bit embarrassing because I'm sensitive and really stupid things can trigger it. Going to the GYN is always awkward for me.
militarybrat 21
No one? You have heard every woman have sex. If i am really worked up before he even touches me, damn straight i moan as soon as his fingers go on me.
rockydify 22
Ever had an ****** just from the friction of walking. So annoying.
dcats 13
Go tell him. that will put an end to it
hippodankamus 22
I think some earmuffs and Melatonin would come in handy here.
MarcelTorak 9
Ahem. Once my neighbors left a condom and a note at our door because we were so loud. Even just leaving a condom is message enough.
Louie2013 12
Sorry bout the note
MrConcise 35
Trying to keep quiet is hard. I used to hold one girl's mouth shut because I lived in an apartment next to a family with kids, but it just turned her on and made her louder through my hand...
Araj_Hs 19
Why don't you join them and show them how its done? :D
DesiBoyz 14
How did you know she was faking it ?
Lancer033 5
if you have to ask....
Badkarma4u 17
I'm betting OP knows what faking sounds like because shes had to do it herself.
cyna_g 18
You should let him know, lol
iPixiee 23
'Course, just tell them : "Hi I heard you fake moaning, could you please fake-moan more quiet?" nah, not a great idea :p
a1_z9 10
Doesn't sound a bad idea to me. They might not realise their noise carries that far so its only reasonable to let them know. Then ask them to chip in for the cost of sound-insulating the walls!
Person_Z 9
I just wanted to make a comment