Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the Bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Doortje 30
You should've said, with a hollow voice, "God sees everything, son".
krushr 3
Brings a whole new meaning to "holy crap."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
mohemoto 0
That's awkwardly creepy...
ktbird 0
Congrats you just met the next serial killer.
Moo_Horse 0
lol
ulicksam 0
Typical religious freak.
cat444des 0
oh you call that TYPICAL! Never heard of something creepy like this...
BloodyHeel 8
No it's definitely typical.
koolkat27 13
You must live in some ****** up place for that to be considered typical.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
What, is this an uncommon experience there in Australia?
sourgirl101 29
He was casting out the "demon" seeds.
captcharlest 0
the power of Christ compells you!!
ArwinEvenstar 0
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
fearfulsymmetry 1
Having his way with his hand? You really had to phrase it like that OP? Jesus christ, just say he was jacking off.
RedPillSucks 33
Come on. "Having his way with his hand" is way funnier than "He was jacking off" I can picture it now... hand: You beast!!! Don't touch me!!! him: Oh come on. You know you want to. hand: No! Never! him: No means yes!! hand: Oh... oh!!!!! I feel so unclean!!!! him: *reaches for cigarette*
pandabarrel 0
Win!
GawZ 0
1-4..,( (((..
AnRom 0
he must be religious if he knew they were bible verses, he's probably a prude
flybye 0
lo frikin l!
RedPillSucks 33
Even people who are not especially religious will have some familiarity with bible verses.
fearfulsymmetry 1
I don't have any familiarity with bible verses.
xNephilim 19
You'd know it was Bible verses just by the whole "thou" and "thy" thing and, oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that most Bible verses have VERY obvious religious hints in them, like the word Lord and Savior.
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
So whatever happened to Fappie?
0opsie 6
I would be scared too. He was probably worried about going to hell for masturbating and thought it wouldn't count as a sin long as he thought of Jesus while he did it. Eww.
killaninjah 1
so he fapped to Jesus... ew
WiiFeY 0
this just proves that religious people r severely fxcked up in the head, and that W'e shouldn't listen to them! lmao
BlackHoleSuns 0
Yes let's listen to the comment poster with a drink in her hand that looks like a washed up *****. God forbid that people worship or believe in a religion or higher power. I mean it's only been done since as far back as recorded history. Therefore everybody who believes in any religion is crazy... according to WiiFey, which she must be correct because she clearly appears to know what she is talking about. Glad I got that out of my system :)
sarahmyers 0
your stupid I know many religious ppl and they are amazing so shut up