Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I found out the hard way, that yes, a condom can break. Also, that sometimes when it does, your boyfriend won't say anything until you start having morning sickness. FML
Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
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Top comments
FD929 0
Congrats on your future child. I hope you make enough at Burger King to afford it.
yukonesian 0
you should have said 'condom sense' ah boom cha!!
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Comments (142)
Devooo21 0
wow.... I don't know what is worse... reading all that or wanting to call everyone here idiots.... Lets just say I wished I hadn't read all that and you are all idiots!
lovebugx2007 0
42 u read my mind.. that's exactly wut I was thinking. I don't get y people get so worked up over comments. god I LOVE stupid people!!!! they just make my day
ScaryyMary 14
You must be perpetually happy then, seeing as you ARE one. Nice grammar. The reason people with any degree of intelligence care is because it's not fun reading millions of comments that lOokE lyKE d1z cUz weE hAz Trubble reedin dEmZ yO. N008Z.
maddiey2014 0
LMAO is she pregnant and if I am related to you than I dis own u cuz
Masterofkittens 0
U can't disown your cousin dumbass
ScaryyMary 14
...Squirrel? Did you post this lol? Regardless... More like **** HER life.
MrPresidentBoss1 0
I'm so sorry dude honest mistake. I f**king hate pregnate scares. I've had three so far and my heart actually stops for a whole secont everytime. I'm pretty sure I had an actuall angziety attack. good luck hope she's not preg that's the only period you'll look foward to her having.
elephantinked 1
Angziety? Secont? Pregnate? Are you ******* with me right now... Use spell check next time, friend. ANXIETY! SECOND! PREGNANT! Good God some people's children.
AmberAusgeflippt 13
He's probably actually 11 and never had sex but wants to have a big boy conversation. :) pregnate. That's my favorite. every cellphone has spell check. This tells me that the poster doesn't have a cell phone (too young?!) and probably uses a computer. If the browser he's using HAS spell check, he probably thinks those red squiggly lines are encouraging him to keep using big boy words. (:
Nikki_xD 6
If you could pick out kids names what would they be? xD
theelysium 0
Maybe the condom is too small for you? I have two friends with big dick they say everytime they **** with a normal condom it breaks. Maybe your a luck man. If your 5 1/2 around or larger your considered big in girth and you have to step up in condom size. BTW the girth is what breaks it if the rubber is too small.
monnanon 14
haha 5 and a half around are you ******* nuts? that would split a bloody ****** not just a condom. 5 and ahalf to 6 inches is average LENGTH not girth
owencgray 10
He might be reffering to centimeters
suomynonanet 0
I don't get this. You're supposed to leave room at the tip. What?
drtimblin 0
Yea, but not AIR-FILLED room...read the directions on a package insert, when you pinch the tip while putting a condom on it ensures there's room inside it, but no air in that space because it puts more pressure on the tip of the condom if it is filled with air and then you ejaculate into that space...smart one.
maxy4321 0
STFU. that is all.
lissababy85 5
yea was this your first time using condoms? what did she make you put one on in order to have sex, smart on her part. I feel sorry that she ****** with a dumbass that doesn't know how use a Jimmy cap in 2010.