Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I found out the hard way, that yes, a condom can break. Also, that sometimes when it does, your boyfriend won't say anything until you start having morning sickness. FML
Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
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Top comments
FD929 0
Congrats on your future child. I hope you make enough at Burger King to afford it.
yukonesian 0
you should have said 'condom sense' ah boom cha!!
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Comments (142)
FMLoverAgain 7
how did it feel when your **** ripped through the condom?
White667 0
Wtf? How do you expect them to work if there's no room for the actual sperm to go anywhere?
mattm211 0
you'd be surprised how many people have no idea how to put a condom on
kookat195 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I actually new the right way to put on a condom when I was 10 ifigured it was common sense
Spummerautinter 1
I lost my virginity about 2/3/4 weeks ago, and when I went to the doctors about contraception, she told me to make sure he pinches the top of the condom when he puts it on. Yeah, so there's somewhere for the sperm to go. Or else it'll either burst the condom or come backwards xD. So, yeah, you know, it is a suggestion. (:
yukonesian 0
you should have said 'condom sense' ah boom cha!!
osemness 0
his **** was to small for him to feel it
B4SK3TB4IL 0
the rubbers
danishay 4
WIN
leader0011 5
hahahahaha you fail op
jmg0411 6
Well said!
FMLRITP 18
Just shut the **** up.
TheMichaelIsFres 0
haha hope sea not prego
ECA 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yes its true! some people dont get preggo on the first time you know! It took me forever to get pregnant! Its more because the female anatomy fights sperm. Its a contest, survival of the fittest, best sperm gets the egg. Seeing that you not have that many brains, u may be lucky today!
tannarox 0
The female system is MADE TO ACCEPT SPERM, not fight it, you blithering idiot.
spazz666 18
Blithering idiot? I thumbed your comment up for that phrase :D thank you for the smile.
bluejay22 4
actually it's not, the female system is made to kill sperm, hence only the best sperm are able to make it to the egg, the inside of the ****** is so acidic most of the sperm don't even make it to the uterus, granted this is out of about 10,000 sperm. you blithering idiot....
I_lost_the_game 25
2- the sea is never full of Prego sauce
liz805 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Actually the female system IS made to reproduce!! And it's not really acidic because sperm can live in the ****** for up to 5 days!!!
TheBean123 1
She has got a point about woman's body rejecting sperm.... Annoyingly
lexa1love 16
Dear god, can some of you guys go take an Anatomy or Reproductive class, please?
monnanon 14
those saying the female system rejects aperm are correct. the ****** is acidic enough to kill sperm and the cervix also has its own little tricks to stop sperm getting through. even for those that make it there is not always an egg there for them to fertilise. i remember watching a program on it and thinking its a wonder anyone gets pregnant at all.
AntiSocialKitten 21
If the female anatomy is made to accept sperm then why do almost 98% of them die off before even getting close to the egg?
gatorgirl7563 22
You're right. I remember watching a documentary that described the ****** and other female parts related to reproduction as "a hostile environment" to sperm.
alphaxzero 0
and who is the idiot that was desperate enough to have sex with you? i would say FHL instead.
PedoPancakes 7
Haha your comment is boss :D
JoshTheMaggot 8
your an idiot
caticaticati 3
I think you meant, "You're an idiot." Don't call someone an idiot if you can't do it with correct spelling and grammar. It makes you look like an idiot.
mitch707 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're an idiot for being so picky on an internet comment. Clearly people don't bother using perfect grammar. Stop being argumentative u fool.
Pix_fml 0
And yes...using 'u' for you because you are too lazy to type two more letters also makes you look like an idiot.
purple5 0
LOL. You're telling someone not to be so picky about a comment when you just did the exact same thing :')
ifoundnemo28 0
i agree... and this guy who corrected your grammar is my new hero
bostonfan 0
@3 @4 @11 @18 you're all idiots.
frankie1331 0
i thoght this was about the dude that didn't know how to put a condom on D:
KASHMIR_fml 0
lol think bout the thought process: "decent fml let me check comments. OMG THIS PERSON SAID YOUR INSTEAD OF YOU'RE!!! I'm gonna waste 15 seconds of my life typing this just so I can be a bitch ad get some attention cause I obviously am not creative enough to get responses without being a picky virgin attention whoring bitch." pick this U FU<K1NG 4tT3Nt10N wH0r3.
ruinit 0
all of u are stupid
Toxxic_Blackout 0
Some of you really are idiots. She wasn't being a grammar Nazi, but the fact that the person she corrected was calling someone an idiot and not even using proper grammar when doing so, really does make that guy an idiot. I doubt #11 would have pointed it out if it had said " your cool " etc.
themikster 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well if he spelled idiot wrong that wud be funny but ya u r an idiot for ur pickeyness
RaGoNiiTe 0
lmfao haha
isroc 0
61 hahahahaha
t3471m3 0
"u guyz all F41L"
2gether4ever 0
agree with 35 just shut the hell up. NO ONE GIVES A FLYING **** :D
safirestar09 0
The smiley face at the end just makes you seem like a bitch. =D
abes22 0
my iq is 148. Internet grammar doesnt count for anything. so everyone shutup and get a life.
gunnar7240 0
148 is also the number of girls I will get before you get 1 you nerd. Stick that up your ass and smoke it.
countrygirrl95 0
win!
canadiata555 0
Glad to see everyone is getting along nicely
FUUUandyourmom 16
This is just a normal day in the FML commentary section.
owencgray 10
Well THAT escalated quickly. also before you hate on people thoink about yurself and your IQ. i doubt his IQ is 148 but still, smart people are little bastards who will bite you in the ass everytime. myself included (i have an IQ of 115. 100 is average).
E40_fml 0
Stupid boys.
mydefposseee1234 0
Erm, that's how you're supposed to do it... ^o) If it didn't work then you're doing it wrong.
dacho 7
He meant not a suggestion, but a must.
jt1234 0
wow thanks #7 ur the only person that said that. now it makes sense
FD929 0
Congrats on your future child. I hope you make enough at Burger King to afford it.
dannnn_fml 0
haha i think he one-upped it and works at mcdonalds!! SO CLASSY!! :)
Robert3Ash 0
ok, that a little mean, assuming he works at burger king or McDonald. as far as we know here could be like u or the CEO of a company
baileybug93 0
I wish I could thumbs up it more than once lol:)
MunchkinSpaz 9
I work at Burger King... I'm 16.
DirtyDiana_fml 0
Lmao you don't know this guy! Flippin' trolls.
perdix 31
How does having your spent wad trapped inside your **** feel?
LoudAsThunder 0
It actually hurts quite a bit...
josh203 0
for real. it hurts like hell!
cyberotter 0
I kinda like it
kmb111410 0
lol @69 ..... I bet you do sweetie. lol. i bet you do :P
darebear331 4
Hah! 69 :)
shoieb9 14
Great! which school??