Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
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Top comments
fretforyerlatte 0
i guess you're not in much of a position to give her advice then, huh? unless you used to get it on all the time or something.
Arian_fml 0
Why did you lie? And what makes you a sex guru?
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Comments (153)
angieo23 0
How is this an FML? Are you sexually frustrated or are you just worried that you look like a loser? If you're worried that you look like a loser, grow up.
hsdtt03 0
WOW. big deal. you didn't have sex for long. get a *****, a vibrator, whatever. don't brag about not being a *****. if you want to be a ***** and get laid that bad, it ain't that hard. gigolos. men in clubs.
oulala_fml 0
agree with #3 how is that a bad thing?! you should get friends that aren't ***** so you wouldn't post stupid FMLs like this..
cyxx 0
Wow, so you're not a ***** and you haven't had a serious boyfriend in a while. Congrats, that's not an FML.
Death_Stiny 0
Giving friends good advice is cool. But i dont see why this is FML, because if u girls are unmarried then that means she's a *****. You really want to be like her? Think about it...
qwep 0
Don't worry, this isn't a bad thing. Your just not into sex as much as your friend or you just haven't found the perfect person. But your friend isn't necessarily a ***** either. Maybe she really is starting to get serious with her boyfriend. Sex doesn't necessarily make you cool, or a ****. You shouldn't have lied to her.
ManganeseDream 0
Don't give illegit advice. You probably ruined her streak.
poobear 0
this definitely is a bad thing... you had sex twice this year? thats just depressing. maybe hit the gym and a salon? either way stop giving people sex advice youre clearly not good at it
Hacksaw 4
Dry spells come and go. Don't sweat it.
straywander 0
who cares. it's personal choice.