Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
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Top comments
fretforyerlatte 0
i guess you're not in much of a position to give her advice then, huh? unless you used to get it on all the time or something.
Arian_fml 0
Why did you lie? And what makes you a sex guru?
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Comments (153)
TJayU 0
I feel so bad for the people that don't get sex a minimum of three times a day. Anything less is a FML. *eye roll*
skierguy 0
Not an FML. Suck it up.
anniebananie 3
#30 - i read it as having implied "oh no! you're not a ***** like your friend." thats what i thought she had meant to say, but you're right, i shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.
GirlWhoCriedOW 0
#9 doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to me, while #s 3, 5 and 13 do. Your life really isn't ****** because YOU aren't ****** with a frequency.
Ivash 0
Four times this week coming up Friday... and that's only if I don't see my gal Saturday or Sunday. Fml. ;}
you_fail_at_life 0
Lmao at #3! Serious dude. She's a ***** :)
mata_fml 0
after five years u will start to notice guys wont like her because she'll have it wrinklier than her grandma, while you will still be fresh and un-used.
threegp 0
Shut Your Speaking Orifice! I'm 20 and I haven't had sex in the last 20 years! Yeah... beat that stupid complaining non contributing Zero.
Death_to_my_life 0
sounds like your friend is a what? HOOKER! LOL be happy that you've seem to have an ounce of respect for yourself, eh?
swodah 0
If that's a problem it can be easily fixed - least here in Finland. BTW does autonomous action count as sex - if it does I'm a hocker too;-) And for you guys that call a person a ***** if she have sex about every day,... there are people that have girl/boy friends or spouses...