Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fretforyerlatte 0
i guess you're not in much of a position to give her advice then, huh? unless you used to get it on all the time or something.
Arian_fml 0
Why did you lie? And what makes you a sex guru?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (153)
brkn_hearted 0
lol well, i can totally feel you on that one... i've probably had sex less in the past year than you have either..
watchnlearn 0
your life doesn't suck, you friend's just probably a ****
sondramcfail 0
Be glad you're not a **** like your friend. (Don't mean to offend anyone, but most people, myself included, think of that as slutty.)
Ohnoitslindsay 0
How does having sex less often make you less knowledgeable about it?
XantesFire 0
Used to happen to me too when I worked at a Blockbuster. Since I was late 20's and everyone else was teens and early twenty they would often ask me sex questions figuring I would know since I'm the oldest. But at the time I was getting the least sex of them all. I was able to answer from experience, yes, no, reciprocate, see a doctor, lube, etc.
deja54 0
#73 Do you understand the concept of a "healthy" relationship?
iebabe 0
wow.. big deal.. us females can get it whenever we want.. bt some choose nt to like u and i.. u dnt wanna be a ****.. its dif if u have a boyfriend.. so.. if ur single gwt over it if nt then damn that sux
BannedDistress78 0
things could be worse. you could be like me. i havnt had sex in my entire life
kellster 2
Ah, I feel your pain! But if you're not in a relationship, then the only "FML" here is that you're not a *****. Be happy! And.. buy a vibrator. :P
louisianagrrrrl 0
than maybe you should be asking her for advice?