Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
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Top comments
YourBuddyElmo 5
On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.
glittercookies 12
It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.
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Comments (221)
datgamerchick 14
Honestly 111, if you're careful, having male genitals shouldn't be a problem at all. I'd honestly rather have male genitals than go through excruciating cramps and mood swings every month. Plus, the whole labor thing. That must hurt like a bitch.
asiandood 4
Just hope they get it right on the first try!
runner543 1
Try getstdtested.com - same test no swab
shaka_Z_0929007 10
Don't they have home STD tests? It's less awkward for everybody if they do. Just saying...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Like I said, pregnancy/childbirth is not mandatory, it is optional. Periods are absolutely horrible, of course, and usually little can be done about the pain. Since I don't have junk, I wouldn't know much about the subject, but it seems to me like a lot of males have one form of misfortune or another regarding their genitalia at least a few times a day. That or I just work with some really clumsy motherfuckers.
Equin0x 0
No it's not really that bad, the thought of it hurt more than actually having it done.
iloveyou2129 6
well steve there isnt anything i can tell u about that…
Jenn051692 0
Ouch... On the brightside! You dont have to deliver a baby....
brandont03 1
They are going to play a good old fashion game of "load the muscat" lol
m3lyc 18
Been catheterized doesn't hurt. I had a cystoscopy (camera passed into my bladder through my urethra the other year), which is basically the same thing. Apart from some mild discomfort, it was painless. Just ensure he uses plenty of lubricant as the urethra is "sticky" by design.