Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
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Top comments
YourBuddyElmo 5
On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.
glittercookies 12
It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.
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Comments (221)
ohcrapitscurtis 8
Good old' Cotton-Eye Joe
writergirl23 19
Hopefully you'll be able to get some painkiller first! Just try not to have sex till you get feeling ... And does the doctor have an STD?
schiss 5
sucks to suck man that sounds so painful sticking something in your urethra
tmarty 17
Get a different doctor. I have had it 3 times in my life and it never hurt. The worst thing was that the lube was cold and felt strange. Not a big deal at all.
schiss 5
sucks to suck man having to have a cathetar astuck in you urethra
millertime12 4
Ouch I'm sorry. Don't worry. It doesn't hurt that bad. Just focus on deep breaths and it isn't too bad. Just don't focus on wait is specifically happening.
ReikageSanshi 0
Ummm what happen to a blood sample??
inaphansoa 9
That's not necessarily true, and childbearing hasn't always been an option. Before the world was vastly over populated women gave birth as a means of continuing the species, much like the behavior of animals. Even now, many women are pressured into marriage and having children by either cultural, religious, or familial influences. In many cases, women get pregnant unexpectedly and are unable to have an abortion. I could go on, but I think you get what I mean. Just sayin'.
haleypiejune20 4
It is less painful for a man than it is for a woman.
HeartOfLead 24
Hey mods: I'm not sure if it's just meh dumb iPod acting up, but this FML is on here twice; SMH.