Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
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Top comments
YourBuddyElmo 5
On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.
glittercookies 12
It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.
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Comments (221)
TheYamBagga 5
Shoulda wrapped your shit dude...you gotta pay to play
bugmenotmofo 34
Let's hear it for socialized medicine!!!
meridius4510 4
Wtf are they testing for?!?
skyeyez9 25
Do you have any percocet leftover from an old prescription? Its a very strong pain reliever and if I were you, I'd take a couple before the appointment.
kalbrek009 20
I think your doctor is either a quack or messing with you, urine in a specimen jar or blood test is how they normally check for std's..get a second opinion before you let anyone stick anything into you like that!
Daj13 4
It's not that bad...have surgery or some tests also make u have them. It just stings and feels odd.
lylotrezor 20
111, delightful wording! I can't stop laughing now.
desertpunk75 11
This made me cringe and close my legs. That sucks.
agreedtodisagree 4
I ******* felt that pain just having read this.
Tempest559 12
What the hell do you have?