Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
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Top comments
YourBuddyElmo 5
On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.
glittercookies 12
It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.
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Comments (221)
sabianking 0
I feel your pain man. Due to some poor communication between the doctor and nurses at the hospital I was staying in after my surgery, I had a total of FIVE catheters in and out of there in the span of three days.
wildman177 0
my god. man I feel so sorry for you. I wouldnt have the bravery to do that. kudos
RedPillSucks 33
Damn, What kind of STD test requires that? Was this a female doctor who you pissed off?
Dexxter_fml 4
Some people actually have a fetish for that. :L Not that I do, or anything. :S
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, and she's going to DAMN YOU TO HELL!
RedPillSucks 33
OP: Just lie back and think of England. Do it for the Crown. *Drinks Crown Royal after getting reamed*
yourlifesfucked 0
Her bio says she isn't a nun if you'd learn to read =P. Maybe it's a burqa? Or she dressed up as a nun for halloween?
yourlifesfucked 0
"OMGABURQA she's a turrerist!" much?
Whachubbleisthis 4
I've never heard of any STD tests for which you'd need a catheter!
RaggleFrock 13
They arnt that bad, I've given men catheters before and not one has howled in pain. Just hope you get a experienced person doing it.