Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
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Top comments
kbeverly07 1
Haha you left yourself open for that one and kinda deserve it for comparing her
perdix 31
Why did you have to say anything about their size? You should have just sucked away and said they were beautiful. Idiots like you deserve a life a constant masturbation.
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Comments (313)
4rmMiami 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve, FYL OP keep ur mouth shut or there wouldn't be a next time. Even though you complimented her she already knows she's flat chested, thank god I'm a size C!!!
ohmandapants 17
Ah, I see you took the time to tell us your bra size, in a sort of bragging way. Thanks, we needed to know that.
milliams27 0
No one cares.
exleonhart 0
My wiener cares :)
flockz 20
make sure you wear condiments for your weiner then.
green_tetris 2
What about your brain size? Oh wait...
nicknamekenny 1
No one gives to *****
nicknamekenny 1
No one gives to *****
ohmandapants 17
^ Well maybe if they weren't so stinky we'd give them more. Maybe you should learn the difference between to/too/two. I know it's difficult...
JadeWalker 14
Im a DD in your face haha now next time dont brag
ohmandapants 17
^ you're kinda doing exactly what she did.
katt_is_here 24
Cup size doesn't matter. All boobies are beautiful!
ohmandapants 17
Well really you had that coming OP. Next time, compliment her and you won't have to hear such harsh truths.
docscientist 10
Sounds like he just made a really awkward compliment, but she bitched things up and insulted him. I think he was trying to say he has no problem with small breasted women, but being defensive and insecure, she snapped.
kaykay20 0
Yeah seemed he was happy with her breasts and the way I read it he said they were bigger then same of his ex's which you'd think the girl would see as a compliment not a insult.
ohmandapants 17
Either way, OP shouldn't have said it.
ohmandapants 17
Did I say she should have brought it up? No. But he should have replied differently. If he doesn't like being with someone so insecure, he can leave.
KeyboardWarrior 10
100 I find that your initial argument is always solid, but your follow-ups are horrible.
iamg 1
Your damn hot, yummy looking tongue
ohmandapants 17
^ that's enough out of you. Where did you learn how to talk to women? Shut up.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
And that sir, is a smack to the face...
aFreedom127 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry you have a small penis, but small penises are easier to gobble up!
SilverInGray 25
That's just kinda weird to say...
SilverInGray 25
That's just kinda weird to say...
ohmandapants 17
Why are all of your comments like this? And OP doesn't necessarily have a small penis. His gf could have dated guys with monster dicks.
fo_86 0
Have you seen her pic?
ohmandapants 17
^ everyone makes that same comment.
uprising_fml 0
'she' or is she secretly creepy Steve who pretends to be an Eve ? anyway to the original comment of this thread, yes you are trying hard... especially when you talk about dicks so often...
jonathanlim 0
Ouch!!
tj4234 36
that's one of those questions you don't answer OP, it's like the 'does my butt look big in this' question. All answers result in a slap of come back. saying they look big implies that you well... look at them in comparison to other girls. So you'd get a slap for that. agreeing that they look small implies the same as the above. You would also get a slap for this. etc.
FYLDeep 26
Comparing the one your with to other people probably isn't a good idea. That's just going to make 'em believe that you're thinking of someone else.
FYLDeep 26
You're*
ohmandapants 17
Why is this getting thumbed down? You have a perfectly valid point.
FYLDeep 26
I think all comments are thumbed down initially. It happens so fast, I think some people are just loading the page and hitting the thumb down on everything without reading it. Shortly afterwards, rational people come along and thumb it back up.
rocker_chick105 31
you asked for that
candy29 10
That is when you say "No baby your breasts are perfect, I wouldn't change anythig about them, trust me;)." and then you suck on them.. she is your gf you should never make her feel insecure or leave her feeling insecure.
candy29 10
That is when you say "No baby your breasts are perfect, I wouldn't change anythig about them, trust me;)." and then you suck on them.. she is your gf you should never make her feel insecure or leave her feeling insecure.