Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kbeverly07 1
Haha you left yourself open for that one and kinda deserve it for comparing her
perdix 31
Why did you have to say anything about their size? You should have just sucked away and said they were beautiful. Idiots like you deserve a life a constant masturbation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (313)
lerthox 8
You set yourself for that one, ydi hahahah
cchino_o 8
Hurting
juybuygo 13
i guess you could say you were made for each other.
loserman67 36
I'm at a loss - you actually managed to make her feel worse???? All you had to say was, "Your breasts are beautiful, I love them." You would have had all the sex, blow jobs, hand jobs, whatever you ever wanted. But you had to be clever. Learn from your mistake Grasshopper
Poser1337 5
Everyone makes mistakes.
darkinners 6
what's wrong with the good old model answer? "I just love the way they are" ??
badactor009 0
You don't have to respond to everything that is said. When you are getting intimate with someone you never ever bring up anyone who is not there. Don't refer to others in any way. Doing that is a no win situation.
SheWentToJereds 0
BURN !!!!!!!!
HotKarlMC 0
Women are so needy. She has to ruin a good moment with self pity. She could have enjoyed a nice nipple lick, but rather she chose to whine. If she already gave up the anus I would suggest moving on.
robokid777 4
******* owned
vcolvin 0
What was the purpose of telling her she had small boobs? You deserved it!!
NullPointer 20
Actually if you took the time to read the fml you would see that what he said was quite the opposite. SHE said that she had small breasts, not him. He told her that hers were larger than girls he's been with. You need some reading comprehension skills.
vcolvin 0
Yeah I am very aware of that. I know that "she" said that had small boobs. Instead of him trying to make her feel better he basically agreed with her by saying that he dated smaller boobs. For that he is a jerk and deserved it. A guy with a brain would know that that wasn't the best comment to make!!