Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, my therapist started laughing at me whilst I was telling my story. He said, "Sorry, I can't help it" and burst out laughing. FML
Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
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Top comments
sciullo 14
I'm glad to see doctors still find medical terminology childish
that_band_nerd 22
Well OP, your name sums it up pretty well.
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Comments (148)
Autumnsbeing 9
If my doctor had laughed when he gave my diagnosis of 'spastic colon', I would have punched him in the face.
siouxyeahyeah 2
You're quite the professional, aren't you? If you were mine or a family members doctor, I would have filed complaints with the hospital/clinic, the board, & told everyone I could not to see you.
pandalover69 26
I know it was an accident but seriously??? At least 7 years of school for you to become a doctor and you can't even handle saying the word spastic?! Wtf is wrong with you? Grow up.
jixiekat 14
learn to be more profesional...
TehPurdo 4
Although you may find the term funny, you should still able to act professional. I'm sure the patient was cracking up as well. YDI.
edmunson 22
Doctors are human too, and shockingly NOT perfect.
Shepardspie71 8
Your an asshole and I hope that patient tells the whole world not to go to you
worldclassrager 41
I can't imagine your reaction to other medical terms...
skittyskatbrat 19
With that sort of approach, it might be a good idea to apply at Gila RMC in New Mexico. They seem to appreciate doctors that don't care about patients' feelings. If you don't get it, google "David Eckert".....
ynoham 5
I'm glad your job makes you laugh though!