Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, I bought a fancy automatic ball launcher for my dog. When I demonstrated it, my dog watched the ball fly through the air, then charged at the launcher instead, thinking it was the toy. FML
Today, I was excited to teach my new puppy how to fetch. I threw the stick, and he just stared at it, then stared back at me with his tongue lolling out, as if to say, "You threw it. You go get it." I’ve now spent the past 30 minutes fetching my own stick, hoping he'd join in. Nope. FML
Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML
Today, I bought my dog an expensive plushie toy because I thought it would last longer than the cheap ones. He ignored it completely and spent two hours playing with the cardboard box it came in. FML
Today, I was having a conversation with a friend at the park when my dog ran up to me with something in his mouth. I thought it was a stick. I bent down to take it, only to realize it was a dead squirrel. My dog just stared at me, tongue lolling, like, “It’s a stick, throw it.” FML
Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
mareike 16
Come on, that is a bit funny :)
DeliMeat08 14
I don't think dogs can feel disappointment. They are empathetic, so maybe it just sensed you felt disappointed in yourself, and because it's a bundle of love and compassion, didn't wanna bother you anymore.
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Comments (28)
mareike 16
Come on, that is a bit funny :)
TheSenorPenguino 7
Well now you know who has a stronger relationship with your boyfriend
DeliMeat08 14
I don't think dogs can feel disappointment. They are empathetic, so maybe it just sensed you felt disappointed in yourself, and because it's a bundle of love and compassion, didn't wanna bother you anymore.
NoahK2003 16
At least be happy for your boyfriend. He's gettin all the dogs.
Chikiriwak 17
Well... just let your dog know that you tried
arano 29
Your life is over. Just curl up in a ball and wait for death.
dietcoke09 25
You must not disappoint your dog too much if he went to you first!
Tripartita 45
I normally don't like bringing this up as it's personal in nature, but my father used to be bad at playing fetch. He was treated for years, and some of my earliest memories of him involve the intravenous drugs they administered as part of his regimen. I remember him sitting in the corner, tubes coming out of both arms, throwing a squeaky toy for the dog to catch. The treatments were unsuccessful, and he's no longer with us. There's still time for you to seek help, OP. Please do.
DeliMeat08 14
I think this is the first time I've seen you in the negative O.o
nattnatt73 31
Haha, so funny lol
Tripartita 45
Then you're in for a treat tonight, #14.
Lalala579121 28
Not sure if attempted joke or if Tripartita having a rare vulnerable moment.
Tripartita 45
I was joking because such a rare and surprising—*sniffles*—event happened twice in one night.
sarcasmismyno1 22
I love that your dog was so clearly able to communicate his disdain. Too funny.
orangediva 10
My dog gives me the "stupid human" look frequently too ???