Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Top of the mornin' to ya!
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Top comments
extremereviews 26
You could have washed the toy
lammm_fml 18
Why didn't you just wash the toy? I mean you had to clean the vomit up anyway.
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Comments (81)
Dreamsorrow93 24
Time to buy her a new one you soulless monster! Who would take a small animals favorite toy!
frozen92_fml 12
So says the demonic ginger child.
Dreamsorrow93 24
I'm not a ginger... My hair is brown. The light in the picture made it look reddish.
lynds71 12
Causing letting a dog play with a vomit filled toy is bad parenting. Ignorant.
Dreamsorrow93 24
I'm sure washing it would of worked too. They eat puke and poo im sure it will not kill it.
urdirtyolduncle 15
My dog's scared shitless of anything new that's slightly larger than his paw
Chiroptera_Man 10
I don't get why you have so many thumb downs. I read the comments below and they're very similar and no one had a problem with them../
Dreamsorrow93 24
It's because people are jealous I was first lol
Cheeley 17
5- "The light made my hair look red." you aren't fooling ANYBODY.
morghandi 21
I think they got down-voted because of the way they said it.. and there was no mention of cleaning the toy in the original comment. And besides, just because a dog /will/ eat those things doesn't mean they should be /allowed/ to. It still carries bacteria. I have to take toys away from my dog all the time because she chews them up and they become dangerous choking hazards.
urdirtyolduncle 15
I think the real question is why I get thumbed Down with almost every comment I make, including this one
Khaleesi_26 30
No.29, I'm not defending No.1, but her hair could easily be brown. In my picture my hair also looks red but it's really brown by changing the lighting you can get it too look that way easily.
junkman6 22
I gotta agree with número uno on this one. Dogs eat their own shit and lick up their own puke. You probably didn't even need to rinse the toy. 5 minutes after she puked on it it would have only been covered in slobber. Ill caveat this by saying I've only ever raised mutts and hunting dogs so I never had to worry about them dying from a stiff breeze like overbred pure breeds.
luverofakatsuki 16
dogs eating their own poo means they are lacking a specific vitamin that it contains. eating their own puke is a survival instinct neither will harm it at all as it carries the same bacteria as whats inside the dog. as to the toy could have easily soaked it and shoved it through the wash and it should have been fine. i have a dog that does the same thing on occasion. hooe the doggy got another toy.... poor thing
Swandive235 27
Hey guys, you should all calm down. I like pancakes.
morghandi 21
#50, does that mean we could eat our own poo without it harming us?
orbit 22
I agree with #1, the toy could have easily been washed. Instead, op threw it away and is saying "fml" because they chose to throw it away instead of washing it.
BeerOClock 9
#60 animals and humans have different immunity systems, for example, we need to wash everything we eat and most animals never do that
Crossbowe 13
#4 I have red hair , so does that make me a demon? Honestly I'm tired of people saying this crap.
junkman6 22
I'm sorry this is hilarious. "You people" probably call the dog whisperer whenever he barks at nothing to find out what his internal message was. Dogs will be dogs. They lick their own asshole then lick your face, they chase cats, and they enjoy playing fetch. Worrying about a little vomit or poop eating is ridiculous. Like I said, unless you have a purebred specialty dog that dies when the breeze is too rough, just let em do their thing. #1 you may be a soulless ginger like my nephew but you aren't as much of a monster as OP is. :P
schwaka 17
#50 you probably could but I wouldn't recommend it. You can actually drink your own urine 2 or 3 times if there isn't any water. People take the bacteria thing way too far. There are bacteria everywhere. The bacteria that causes staph infections lives on your skin, ecoli lives in your intestines, etc. Bacteria eat a lot of your dead skin cells. Your immune system actually develops and strengthens by being exposed to bacteria. The toy could have been cleaned easily.
JonDG 12
I would just like to go out on a limb here and say that the reason behind #1 getting so many thumbs down is because of the "soulless monster" part.
marigoldcobain 21
#29, have you got a problem with gingers?
extremereviews 26
You could have washed the toy
Chente_313 15
I agree
muis545 21
makes you wonder what kind of toy that was, doesn't it?
quiet_storm09 17
I was gonna defend OP by saying that maybe it was a teddy bear or something but it could have still been put in the washing machine. poor dog...
patrickalamo 48
A little bleach fixes most everything.
Brandi_Faith 34
Maybe op didn't want to have puke in her washing machine and preferred buying a new toy instead. It also could have been more than just vomit, maybe it was destroyed or something. I know my dog can get too excited and rip up a toy and eat the stuffing which causes him to vomit.
Whotevah 8
Ah poor dog, give it a new toy
AriettaX 15
with a squeaker! :3
thefmlman2011 37
Nooo, they annoy the shit out of me after a while.
MrSassypants 34
How would OP getting a squeaker toy annoy you? They're that loud, huh?
drivingmissdaisy 13
Why does your profile picture look like one of those joke birthday cards (awkward family photo)?
lammm_fml 18
Why didn't you just wash the toy? I mean you had to clean the vomit up anyway.
sayyestothedress 24
I agree with you, my dog always pukes on his new toys and all I have to do is wash then and they are good as new!
christian1509 21
What kind of toy was it? Couldn't you just have washed it?
Alecksg23 6
that's sad, none of my fmls are getting published and I don't know why
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Because they are as lame as your comments.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
This is the saddest FML ever.
EvilTurtle 35
No, not even close. The saddest FML ever was the one where an OP had to put down a cat but his friend took the wrong cat.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Oh yeah. That one is worse.
Cookiee04 15
Give him some treats :D
kinky44 28
*Her
orbit 22
feed the dog #15
jeriaslovesyou 16
Poor puppy :(
madmonster25 14
You should have cleaned the toy rather than throw it out! Your poor dog