Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML
Today, I was asked to give a toast at my best friend’s wedding. I confidently walked up, tapped my glass, and began with, “Marriage is like...” Then I completely blanked, for about 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. I finished with, “...good luck!” and sat down to slow, confused golf claps. FML
Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML
Today, I was asked to give a toast at my cousin’s wedding. Nervous, I copied a speech template I found online. Halfway through, the groom’s father interrupted me to say, “I read that exact speech on Pinterest.” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. FML
Today, I spent an hour preparing a heartfelt speech for my friend’s wedding. I stood up, got emotional, and promptly fainted, spilling a glass of wine all over myself. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML
Today, I was selected to give a short speech at a friend's wedding after being told it would only be "a couple of minutes." I walked up drunkenly, reached into my pocket for my notes, and pulled out my shopping list instead. I started reading "milk, onions, toothpaste…" before realising everyone was laughing. FML
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
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Top comments
Wadlaen 24
That's a bad start for a speech in anyone's wedding, I hope you managed to catch up with yourself and fix it during the rest of it.
Chazzster 32
Since that sounds nothing like what you practiced, I assume it’s a Freudian slip of the truth. Family gatherings are going to be awkward from here on out…
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Comments (2)
Wadlaen 24
That's a bad start for a speech in anyone's wedding, I hope you managed to catch up with yourself and fix it during the rest of it.
Chazzster 32
Since that sounds nothing like what you practiced, I assume it’s a Freudian slip of the truth. Family gatherings are going to be awkward from here on out…