Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
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Top comments
8trickster8 0
Yeah, I hate kids too
mojomojo_fml 5
Coulda been worse. You could've run over a girl in front of three squirrels
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Comments (98)
bahdspeler 0
Because it's traumatizing for the kids, stupid.
heart_less777 0
Ditto with #39... it happens, this is not an FML. posting it was a waste of time. grow a pair and get over it
Anonymiz 4
I really want to see this one illustrated.
Uepari 0
Jesus Christ, it's a squirrel. Those girls learned a valuable lesson: Stupidity gets you killed (your own stupidity, i.e., the squirrel's) OP: Thank you for killing the squirrel. =3
Kenpachi_fml 0
feed it to them
whyowhy26 3
those little ***** probably enjoyed it. cant you all see how evil kids are?! it's NOT gonna scar their memories or give them nightmares or turn them into psychopaths !! GROW UP!!
Subjectzero 0
squirrels are pests. the earlier those kids learn that the better.
Jennydew 0
They'll get over it. Don't feel bad OP. Not like you did it on purpose.
missgreenday 0
I like how you said, "for the first time ever", like running over squirrels is some kind of rite of passage.
blueem2 0
You are a terrible person! I love squirrels....