Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
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Top comments
8trickster8 0
Yeah, I hate kids too
mojomojo_fml 5
Coulda been worse. You could've run over a girl in front of three squirrels
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Comments (98)
_THE_MASTER_ 0
hey man, I'm from West Philladelphia(born and raised) and that shit would definitely NOT fly there
kingsteveooo 4
LMFAOOO WIN EPIC WIN
zachman3334 0
I got the implication that he crashed into the lemonade stand and the squirrel o.O
kukopia 0
Then you're a demented douche w/ extreemly poor reading comprehension. That means you don't get what people are saying when you read what they wrote. Go back to your 'porno' rorschach ink-blot cards.
zachman3334 0
Jeez dude. I quickly read it, and misunderstood. I'm not demented, and my reading comprehension is fine. Calm the **** down.
Mokin 0
Hilarious! Added to favs
jessxoxo28 5
who does lemonade stands anymore?
Hawk3487 0
Today, I was buying lemonade at this stand next to the road and this crazy driver just annihilates a poor little squirrel right in front of us. It was horrific!! I will never drink lemonade again... Look at the bright side: if you had avoided the squirrel, you probably would have hit the lemonade stand instead.
allmidnighteyes 11
But that would've given him 50 gamer-points and the Sweet Streets achievement!
morpher910 0
...why was this published? your life is completely normal, get over it you baby.
shootingstar8D 0
Watch where your going fool!
lalagirl_89 0
It was accident and I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it...get over it!
bobbysnickers 0
you might have done them a favor. that squirl might have been rabid and attacked them at any moment. it was slwoign moving in for the kill.........
IceCreamMage 17
Aweee poor squirrel D: