Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
In Australia, crashing your car because of a spider is far from the weirdest thing in the world. Our house spiders (Google 'Huntsman spider') are about the size of your hand, and love to hide under sunvisors or in car bodywork. Their natural defence mechanism is to run up the nearest tree to hide, which in the case of one that falls in your lap at 100 km/h, means it's going straight up your face, or maybe inside your shirt. Oh, and they also have a 'cling reflex' which makes them hard to shake off. Keeping calm while that happens is a pretty big test of your Zen skills.
dragonaair 5
A fear of spiders is more rational and irrational. Spiders are poisonous and creepy. An irrational fear is like a fear of showering, for example.
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Comments (93)
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Another spider one. How original. lol
JonaDona 2
yeah i almost believed it, but then i saw op is a girl...so she is just blaming a poor spider for her less than poor driving skills
thesunsetglow_fml 8
I compleately believe it! This happened to my mom.. lucky enough the guy she hit wasn't a total ass and there was no damage... why the hell did the OP have to call the police though??
lovelyllama3 0
OP may not have called the police. it could have been the person they hit. And this sounds like something that would happen to me. ugh
afdude87 6
swipe it away and keep driving. I would have laughed at you too.
nanotide 0
I bet I can fin this exact same fml. how do they let these get posted? lame.
brycereid 0
stupid how one of the first things you do after the cops show up is go on FML and post this
Ryonix 0
ydi for having a bro
GreatGeak 8
wrong FML mate. you wanted the one below.
I_R_Genius 3
I eat cockroaches for snacks, they are so yummy.
Thanatos1206 0
No I'm pretty sure he wanted this website...
BahahahLOL 0
YDI for being overweight
kingtz 6
YDI for having an irrational fear...
PeteyPablo12308 20
Some people really hate spiders. Everybody has imperfections. Don't hate, spiders are horrid, disgusting, and evil creatures. Sorry, but they are.
dragonaair 5
A fear of spiders is more rational and irrational. Spiders are poisonous and creepy. An irrational fear is like a fear of showering, for example.
dragonaair 5
than* not and.
docscientist 10
No, it's more irrational as most spiders are not poisonous and will not aggressively bite you.
mfjkr 10
it's not irrational if your H2O intolerant.......*waves hands* BOOSH
swordyx 5
Oh since when did we need logic for fear? And please squeezing out reasons to argue w him.. Fear is irrational and that's the way it is.
quasispecies 0
if that happened to me but with cockroaches I'll probably end up in a car crash as well.
I_R_Genius 3
I eat cockroaches for snacks. They are so good with honey.
perdix 31
F the other driver's L because he/she has to call the insurance company, get the damaged car towed to the body shop, rent a car and wait to get theirs back all because some dumb bitch couldn't control her vehicle because of the filth that accumulated in it. My car is messy, but it's never been so disgusting that I get assaulted by insects (arachnids, really) that infested it.
DjeePee 25
True true. OP is still very lucky. What if she didn't bumped on a car, but on a child? OP, YDI, be happy that there is only material damage.
dragonaair 5
A place does not have to be filthy to contain spiders or insects. Spiders often crawl into my house (to my horror) but my house is clean.
Prolusive 5
People who can't concentrate on the road in situations like these should not be driving.
RosiePatosie 0
way better than getting in trouble.
bugmefmlnotnow 7
Do you drive a mazda 6? lolo
ryukensfj 5
lol you heard about that too? Apparently spiders like to zoom zoom :)