Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML
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Top comments
pooldude 24
should have picked it up carefully and carried it to safety before using Google
HappyItalian 38
I would've at least tried to take care of it the best I could and bring it to a safe place first before googling what to do next. Animals won't wait for you forever, you know.
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Comments (51)
pooldude 24
should have picked it up carefully and carried it to safety before using Google
EarlFug 19
Agreed. Heart's in the right place but if you need to google at that moment, you're not going to be any help.
bthny 9
It really depends on the animal. For squirrels, the mother will come get the baby and take it back to the nest as long as she can find it. If a person moves it, she may not be able to. It's also possible that the baby was actually a juvenile and fully independent. As long as OP was reasonably close to the baby, there wasn't much risk of another animal getting it, and if the animal dies from something else in the time it takes for you to google it, taking it inside probably wouldn't help. Since the animal could run around, it probably wasn't that hurt, and it likely would've bolted when OP tried to pick it up anyway.
alexanderavatar 24
(dude dying due to gunshot wounds on sidewalk) op: oh wait are you okay? do I look okay? op: I dont know let me check wait I was joking im dying op: oh wait it says your dying I know I just that op: what are your symptoms? just take me to the hospital! op: (typing) urges to seek medical attention... hmm thats odd it says you might be dying or suffering from an illness I know! op: what do you want me to do? CALL THE #%*•€#%*#%^###}^~~}€ hospital!!!! op: wheres that? is it in the area? i never heard of that hospital before? have you been there? Noo! just call 9-1-1 op: (calling) WHATS TAKING SO LONG!! op: oh wait bad reception ahhhhhh! oh never mind woops I ran out of minutes do you want to wait for the 7th of octerber or pay me 30cents a minute aAaaahh I dont care!!! op:ok HURRY op: hmmn yeh hello I need assistance... my emergency? is it an emergency? YES IM DYING TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL! IM BLEEDING CANT YOU SEE op: yes i think so he has illusions of a hospital i never heard of... its called THE #%*•€#%*#%^###}^~~}€ hospital!!!! No thats not what I meant!! op: oh they hung up what do you want me to do? ahhh help me stop the bleeding op: bleeding? hold on let me google that oh #%*^ this (kamikazees)
Lalala579121 28
36 - All I can think of from that is the shot in the head skit from Mad TV.
HappyItalian 38
I would've at least tried to take care of it the best I could and bring it to a safe place first before googling what to do next. Animals won't wait for you forever, you know.
tbro47 23
Yea but that can backfire, a lot of times wild animals will abandon their babies if they smell humans on them. Even semi tamed cats have been known to kill their kittens after they were pet by someone.
Red_Curls1995 28
#8 that's an old wives tale, its been proven false.
jttorkildson 21
I'm sure that part of the rationale of googling the squirrel was learning how to safely handle it. A squirrel may be small but they are still a wild animal and can severely injure someone, especially if they're carrying a disease. There was a squirrel on my college campus that attacked people multiple times.
worldclassrager 41
Poor squirrel...if it got hit...right place just the wrong idea...save it then try to care for it
lizaislizard 8
Scrat, that you?
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I would be lying if I said I did nut see that coming.
colinabi 13
At least you tried OP.
Acat321 5
YDI. When it comes to ANY wild animal, if they can get up and run away, they do NOT need your help. Idiots
fmyblob 7
wow...he was only trying to help don't get so butthurt
writerchic85 26
Yeah it always annoyed me when I worked at the pet store when people brought in wildlife they "saved". It was always rabbits. People don't realize mama rabbits aren't always present on the nest and wind up stealing babies. Also the people who "saved" box turtles off the road and then decided to keep them in captivity the rest of their life afterwords.
DoomedGemini 38
I've always been told to stay a distance and not approach and keep an eye out for the mom or any evidence they came back.
sturschaedel 27
I saved a turtle once. It was in the middle of the road, so I carried it to the side it was heading to. The thought of taking it home never even crossed my mind. How do people come up with that idea?
loueasy 23
You can't cure stupid.
Snano 15
One time, my 120lb mastiff/lab mix found a little nest of bunnies. But no, his "killer" instincts didn't kick in, instead he gently carried one inside and tried to make it play with him by nudging it with his nose.
wolf12king 12
Any more to the story?
LoverWordsFood 27
At least yo7 have a cute story, better then when my father discovered two bunnies in the backyard, one half eaten. Apperently my dog thinks they were play things but ended up killing them. My dad praised her while I was picking up the bodies and tearing up because they were very young. My dog is a bunny killer and I hate it.
askullnamedbilly 33
#20 Your dog is a dog. He's a descendant of an apex predator and thus has a prey drive - I'm pretty sure he knew exactly what those bunnies were and didn't confuse them with anything. The dogs who will adopt local wild life and invite it to play are the exception, not the rule. There's really no point in 'hating' that behaviour because it's completely natural and expected from a domesticated wolf.
Snano 15
I wasn't "hating" on his behavior, 27, I just thought it was funny.
askullnamedbilly 33
You do realize I wasn't talking to you but to #20? It's in the comment and everything.
Snano 15
Oh shit, my bad
Wolffy98 11
I swear I've seen this on 1000 ways to die. :/