Today, while I was at work, my dumbass husband gave his dead rabbit a Viking funeral by sending it down the river behind our house in a crate he set on fire. It got stuck on a tree, which caught on fire, along with the field and the warehouse next to the field. The police think he did it on purpose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML
Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML
Today, my husband got charged with felony animal cruelty, because while I was at work, he shot someone's hunting dog on our property. I'm a veterinarian. This should be great for my reputation. FML
Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML
Today, my husband cleaned out our fireplace and found a very dead, mummified bat. After chasing me around the house with it, he set it atop the mantle. He refuses to get rid of it, and calls it "Henry". FML
Today, we went to a nice place by a river to have a BBQ. Someone then asked if we could move the fireplace somewhere else, so we went to check another spot. We came back to find a dog had eaten all the meat we'd brought. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Who's dumber in this story: your husband or the cops? Just recover the scorched rabbit carcass to support the idiot Viking funeral claim.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
I'm sorry that's an FML for you but for some reason this has me crying with laughter. Every detail is perfect. I'm just wondering how old your husband is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Aiden89 23
For better or for worse?
RichardPencil 32
Who's dumber in this story: your husband or the cops? Just recover the scorched rabbit carcass to support the idiot Viking funeral claim.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
I'm sorry that's an FML for you but for some reason this has me crying with laughter. Every detail is perfect. I'm just wondering how old your husband is.
Wadlaen 24
As a norwegian (like many of the vikings) I've got to say this sounds exactly like the vikings would have done it!😅
Trevain 0
This is too funny, my mind went straight to DOOM where demons killed Doom guys pet bunny daisy and I can't get I out of my head now