Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
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Top comments
CrissyyyS2 22
What a tough crowd.
bluerhhajfk 17
lmfao
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Comments (101)
CrissyyyS2 22
What a tough crowd.
Bakarra 22
They say everyone's a critic...
bluerhhajfk 17
Did the party rock?
MDTeddy 13
How can someone not enjoy that? Those people would not be my friends.
aldwin_fml 7
I bet they were sorry for party rocking
bluerhhajfk 17
lmfao
Bakarra 22
Probably the first and only time this comment is acceptable in the history of FML
perdix 31
#27, it reminds me of the FML about a vacuum cleaner which was the first and only time "That sucks" was a witty comment.
mif_fml 27
Was there ever a time when "that's a shitty situation" was acceptable?
Bakarra 22
#54 there was but the pun has become so trite it's not accepted around these parts anymore
NeatNit 33
that's a shitty situation. lmfao that sucks lol
NeatNit 33
that's a shitty situation. lmfao that sucks lol
NeatNit 33
↑ if you don't vote this comment down you don't deserve this website.
buckstop1 37
I come from the future. And yes, this was the only time "Lmfao" was acceptable
zingline89 18
Ya gotta have the speedos....
speedyw03 6
A night to remember.
KyraJFoxx 14
lmao...well that's just awkward.
ilovedinosawers 17
Lmfao*
timelessone 16
Not enough alcohol at this wedding it sounds like.
AboveAll04 14
the husband was probably doing the rolling the dice move like in knocked up !
Bakarra 22
They probably served wine coolers...I'd be a tough crowd too!
AshaaFerreira 22
Must have been a cash bar wedding.
PenguinBitch 44
Looks like you should hand them.........Shots shots shots shots shots shots EVERYBODY!!
gc327072 31
If you ain't takin SHOTS get the **** out this...... reception....
figmoomoo 5
Wow, must've been incredibly awkward...
poetrywriter12 6
Maybe they were shocked into silence by how great your dance moves were!
_DudeGuy_ 16
Sounds awfully optimistic.
ozpunker 20
I just LMFAO'd.
Zomg_Okay 27
I just laughed my ******* ass off'd?
EwwOneDirection 4
I say lmfao'd when I want to say laughed instead of laugh. That's probably what they did. I say LMFAOing for laughing, though I don't really say either of those that often.
kaet 21
maybe your boob popped out and you didn't notice so they didn't laugh in case later, when you were watching the wedding video, you weren't like, "they're all laughing at my boob!" but congratulations on getting married! and **** those humorless bitches! you and your husband had fun doing it and in the end that's all that matters, especially on your wedding day!
Bakarra 22
Gives a reason justifying why they might not have laughed, then calls them humorless bitches...