Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CrissyyyS2 22
What a tough crowd.
bluerhhajfk 17
lmfao
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
Slaught000 9
I felt embarrassed just reading it.
RodzillaX 30
Maybe you should've gone with something not so outdated and cheesy. Awkward turtle.
Rianokami 22
Sounds awkward, and like everyone was expecting a stereotypical wedding.
bott_fml 4
I understand that it's your wedding and it's also good to have a sense of humour (unlike your guests), but I really hope you had a serious dance as well. For such a meaningful thing like a wedding, people seem too eager nowadays to break tradition and just treat it like it's a laugh. Well I hope it didn't make things awkward after, OP.
DerrickJames 33
It's their day, they can do what they want.
bott_fml 4
Alright, that is true. I just don't think awkward pelvic thrusting infront of 200 people who are watching your special dance is a good story to tell down the line.
CharresBarkrey 16
Screw tradition. I'm dead set on having a flash mob at my wedding.
SMHsohard 22
Yes, it's their wedding, but timing is important, too. It wouldn't have killed them to do a traditional first dance and then segue into something silly. Choice of song is important, too. "I'm Sexy and I Know It" is just annoying, and while they were trying to be funny with silly moves, the whole thing probably came off as selfish and thoughtless. Remember, they said nobody laughed-that would include their same-age friends, not just older relatives.
AndOtherDrugs 5
It also wouldn't have killed the guests to be more supportive of what they wanted on their special day. What's the point of doing something traditional if it's not what you want to do?
VeganVampyre 27
Speaking of friends their age, would you not have at least a couple friends with the same sense of humor as you, who should have found it just as funny as OP did? I once had a very elaborate, fake wedding to a girlfriend of mine. And while some of our friends called us crazy and asked what the hell we were doing, some of them were our "bridesmaids" because they also thought it would be fun. OP should have friends like that and they should have been laughing.
fl0fl0_fml 13
I agree with #47: My cousin and her husband had "Losing my religion" as their first dance, and it was really awkward since she had recently converted to Islam due to her husband being Muslim... Most of my family is Catholic, so they were all staring at the dancing couple like "WTF?!!!". Then it got "better", when they passed Katy Perry's "Hot and cold", as all those who had seen the clip were looking at each other, in a "WTF mode". Oh yeah, and the best part were the slides the bridesmaid had put together, with the melody of a French songs which basically says "why are you screwing up your life?" I'm not conservative. I just think that the atmosphere would have been less tense if they had done it in a more traditional way. An to go back to the FML: we don't know OP's relatives...their not laughing doesn't mean they are not fun... I don't even know if I would have laughed...
PrincessPesa 20
This is absolutely cringe-tastic. I hope someone posts a video.
vbmg152 19
That's what I was thinking, I wonder if its on YouTube yet!
SMHsohard 22
I checked UTube; there are several "Sexy and I Know It" first dance videos. So not only did they do something embarrassing, it wasn't even original.
Viet_fml 9
Fail
PrincessPesa 20
Your exuberant wiggling was clearly too much for your guests to handle. You'd have been better off doing the Macarena, for god's sake. Or the electric slide, if you wanted to go all retro. Try to refrain from thrusting at your relatives at future gatherings.
whY402Jay 12
They were hoping for Gangnam Style.
whY402Jay 12
Wise words... Asian pride.
TVKill3r 15
Tell them to loosen up. Life should never be serious.