Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML
Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML
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Top comments
littlelemur 2
YDI for getting ambushed. you should NEVER let your guard down! constant vigilance! lol
WOW_idc123 0
haha cool mom
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Comments (129)
WOW_idc123 0
haha cool mom
kingace 0
i wish my mom was this cool.
truelyawesome 0
ur mom rocks
brandonwong 18
that's awesome.
billyhirvine09 0
your mom wins
samay402 0
your prob an ugly child and she's hoping you die ;]
soul_fml 0
If my brother and his friends did that, they would be in a world of pain
brunettesara5722 17
hopefully the sock was clean
teacher411 0
Maybe you annoy them and your mom thought so too. I think this is funny!
npk88 0
Agreed...chances are you are really annoying. Your mom and your brother both live you with you (i assume) so they probably feel the same way. I clicked both YDI and FYL because it does suck you had a nasty sock in your mouth; but I have a feeling it's probably because you mouth off and bitch and complain a lot...so YDI also.
gobbledegook 0
lolol
saranottelling 7
That reminds me of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire... oh no is FML turning into MLIA?
ily1210 10
i srslyhope not.
whataloadofbull 0
Thank you, Moody, for those warm words of advice.
littlelemur 2
YDI for getting ambushed. you should NEVER let your guard down! constant vigilance! lol
chris274 8
YES!, Harry potter reference! :D
Jacks_Penguin 0
She is probably not into bondage.
johnsavage 0
this. Although it does suck to be you.
Tamara2011 0
THERE NINJAS I SAY NINJAS!!!!!! bahahahaha :)
wiiareonfire 0
I say "they're ninjas".
Nic_hole 0
Hahahaha that's kinda funny, but sorry, get them back!!
michelstaylor 0
this is beyond fake, but nice tryy.
saranottelling 7
Fake? Just because you can't imagine this happening in your life doesn't mean it isn't true. ~~~ When me and my best friends were little we tied up one of their brothers (who was 14 while we were 10) with scarves and sweaters. One of my friends found a lightweight plastic bat and hit him a few times with it. When we were done we left him there and giggled about how he had to untie himself. The odd thing was, like this FML, his mom knew what we were doing. She took pictures and left him to wiggle his way out.
BritishHobo 0
Wow, you guys were bell-ends.
cherstewart 0
I agree, this doesn't sound fake. One time my brother and his friend put my jacket on me with the arms in the wrong sleeves and zipped it up all the way. I couldn't get out of it and my mom found me, took a picture and laughed hysterically for several minutes before unzipping the jacket.
middletoe 5
Heck, I used to tie up my babysitter with a jump-rope and hit him with a plastic bat. This doesn't seem fake at all, I agree with the others.
jes23 0
wow nice mom (sarcatic)
caosdth 2
my mom would do something like that, but reight after she put the sock in and turned around, she'd either walk out the door and then come back or turn right back around and release me