Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
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Top comments
CrissyyyS2 22
What a tough crowd.
bluerhhajfk 17
lmfao
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Comments (101)
lemonlimelover 1
They probably didn't laugh because it wasn't funny.
driinkbleach 18
People are wayy to uptight. Its not like you played it while taking your vows. it dosent always have to be so serious, you were having fun with your new husband! i think its awesome OP, I would def had laughed and clapped along.
aimeecuria 9
Tough crowd
superfail77 8
That's what you get for being ******* stupid
KCLASSEH 8
If you and your husband had fun that's all that matters. Congrats
alycion 39
My first dance was to eyes on me from ff8. I was trying to get my husband to back down on his strong stance against hyphenating my name. He didn't. I think that launched me to a new level of nerd. Sorry op your guests didn't laugh. Maybe they were afraid to if they thought you guys were being serious.
iwadasn 33
Well, there's a nice precious moment you've wasted. A few anniversaries later, you'll look back on this and cringe.
Flaum 7
Hopefully they'll look back on it and laugh--it was their first moment of humiliation together as a married couple! Also, what lame wedding guests.
pufffreak 13
Sucks to b u
kennaem1 11
I would've cracked up OP
Garagedwella 26
Oh don't worry people will be laughing once the video of you two hits YouTube, the question will they be laughing with you or at you?