Anonymous
Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
isucksomuch
Canada
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
duuuuude
United States
Mom won this one
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Anonymous
The student becomes the master
Today, I had my first day being my mum’s carer. She did the biggest shit I’ve ever seen, and when the toilet wouldn’t flush it, I had put a gloved hand down the loo and break it up with my fingers. Start things how you mean to go on, I guess. FML
Maggie
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Anonymous
Milton, Canada
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Prae
Dallas, United States
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
seaweedlady
United States
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Anonymous
Malaysia
Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML
Top comments
Tripartita 45
Then, before you could stop yourself, you told her that nipple clamps can help to hold problematic piping in place. Next you explained that ball gags make great replacement float balls, and then all hell broke loose as you found yourself reading your dissertation on the parallels between BDSM and proper house care.
coolmike699 26
FingerFYL
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Comments (20)
Tripartita 45
Then, before you could stop yourself, you told her that nipple clamps can help to hold problematic piping in place. Next you explained that ball gags make great replacement float balls, and then all hell broke loose as you found yourself reading your dissertation on the parallels between BDSM and proper house care.
hellnosucka 27
I recommend a venn diagram.
TheLostCauseFML 40
You crack me up...
jasonswife423 18
Depending on the size of the tip, she may need to use 2 fingers
coolmike699 26
FingerFYL
jenjen53 7
Dunno how old you are, but there MAY come a time when you and your mom might laugh at this together.
AaLlIiYyAaHh 22
Freudian Slip?
RichardPencil 32
Tell her she needs to spit on it first. A dry fingerfuck is good for no one.
broskies1 6
well, that's one way of doing it.
Jayy_Calypso 7
who sais that to there mom??
jbivens1992 17
I feel as though basic instinct should stop you from using words such as "fingerfuck" while talking to your mom. I can't see myself even accidentally saying something like this to my mom.
nityasomaiya 46
Don't worry. We're all on our way there too. You just reached a tad bit earlier than the rest of us.