Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SleepingSkulls 0
Damn that's harsh. Don't pay attention to him, OP. But hey, at least you're not homeless.
GuitarNukka520 5
just realized you were way out of his league ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
KirkaLiscious 0
oh damb
MonkeyBusiness_fml 3
...and then he went over to lay down on the hotel lawn and jerked himself off to death, he died with a smile on his face; poor guard didn't realize for 10 minutes that he was dead.
schroedz 0
^ this
mz_booty 0
#11 win
mamamiaaa_fml 12
dammit I was going to refer to that. good fer you 11 you win today. butt watchout I'll be stalking you.
EffinAhole 0
11 win! Hobo win!
Adolf_Grammer_Hi 0
11 Win!
humzizzl3 0
hahahahahahahha
Nutz321 0
11- ah so you've been here since the beginning too?
clothesoptional 0
OP you must live in Waco or Austin!
amnesiasparkles 0
******!!
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
DUDE! how do I join the kkk (kool kids klub)???
mamamiaaa_fml 12
hmmmph. your picture is disturbing. but makes me think we would secretly have a passionate love affair through which you would change but then your fellow kukus would find out and you would have to choose and you would choose them and I'd have to kill you.
EffinAhole 0
You're an inbred **** tard. Go get a swastika tattooed on your forehead and walk through a black neighborhood so someone will shoot your ass and do us all a damn favor.
Cass3m0 0
Fantastic story, number 25. I imagined it all. :)
RedPillSucks 33
#2 father is black.
SleepingSkulls 0
Damn that's harsh. Don't pay attention to him, OP. But hey, at least you're not homeless.
crazytiger16 8
If he's looking to take advantage of women at least he won't go after you. :)
GuitarNukka520 5
just realized you were way out of his league ;)
aixoria 0
agreed :)
Daz3 5
Beauty isn't everything OP.
BadasS14 0
i call BULLSHIT on that!!
spoiiledgorgeous 0
Something an ugly person would say.
taff_fml 1
relax, it was just an fml; not some life story about beauty.
Sweetpea137 0
oooo low blow!!!
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Hahahaha. Sorry.. but that man is pretty witty, very mean as well.
squirell_AIDS69 0
Lol at OP for getting dissed by a homeless man
laniL_fml 0
^^lmfao!
iliketurdles 7
I seen that coming before I finished reading this FML. Getting slightly predictable now. Don't get me wrong; I still love reading FML's.
schroedz 0
I seen that you need a grammar lesson
manforgot 1
I seen what you did there. ^
NickK49 0
I seen a grammar nazi
cassey419 0
are u kidding me your really going to pull the grammar card this is fml not English class
ThatGirlIsMe93 0
15, 23 & 30 made me lol
Leoboy635 0
lmao at the first 3 comments