Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
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Top comments
A07 48
It could'ave been a honest mistake OP, atleast he didn't cut off a chunk of your hair and ask you to prom?
TiggyBonkers 32
Maybe that happened because you literally just had sex with a man you just met...
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Comments (143)
ffiguresskating 11
Punch the guy and take the money
creepyness 3
Just think how much you could have gotten out of him, then made him feel terrible about it, and yhen never see him again
ColdRoxas 18
Anyone else thinking that it was to easy to get OP in bed? or is it just
PrincesaColombia 19
but did you take his money?
cjohns6954 6
People getting super offended dude that's a free 75-250 bucks just because he's stupid
krisseyDJ 20
Take the money and move on, OP If he wants to assume you're a hooker, I say roll with it Then you both can learn a lesson Yours being that your slutty ways make you look like a hooker, and his being don't assume things about people without knowing the facts first
Sparx1_1 16
Legally prostitution is taking money for sex. The second you take the money that makes you a prostitute.
JTV6 9
You should of said "$500" and made some quick cash
fml_fyl_ydi_1342 8
You took the money, right?
RockRoyalty92 12
Honestly? I would have came up with some amount, then yelled as I'm leaving that I'm not a damn hooker.
thatonechicklost 2
I would have said $100 an hour. If he's going to mistake you as a prostitute might as well work on paying some bills