awkward drunk
Canada
Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Shoeless
United States
Black out
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
LoveYouTooMa
United States
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Anonymous
San Jose del Monte, Philippines
Can't handle my drinks
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
I want to forget too...
New York, United States
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
ouch
United States
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Pissy pants
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Blie
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Too far gone
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
HiRveryone
Centre, United States
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Top comments
Zebidee 9
Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?
DocBastard 40
Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.
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Comments (61)
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agree with zebidee. People trying to act sober are hilarious and obvious. I have a vague memory of sitting with my parents for a while, talking a lot and trying to look serious. My usual teenage girl behaviour was to keep conversations to a monosyllable response and to spend time alone in my room. Not surprisingly, they were immediately suspicious and got close enough to smell my wonderfully minty breath.
GreggyZ 0
haha dumbass
Dracia 0
I'm drunk right now while my parents are out and totally sympathise.
wonderful_wendy 0
you can't act!
ImaMonsterRawr 0
Maybe you shouldn't have went home? You shoulda stayed at a friends house or something. YDI!
ImaMonsterRawr 0
Maybe you shouldn't have went home? You shoulda stayed at a friends house or something. YDI!
summersizzle 0
just one shoe not the other? don't want to make it feel left out
summersizzle 0
just one shoe not the other? don't want to make it feel left outi
jazzylove22171 0
tisk tisk your not a very good actor.
furburger 0
That's completely understandable Miley. I usually can't keep it down when I'm sober if Achy Breaky Heart is playing in the background.