awkward drunk
Canada
Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Shoeless
United States
Black out
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
LoveYouTooMa
United States
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Anonymous
San Jose del Monte, Philippines
Can't handle my drinks
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
I want to forget too...
New York, United States
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
ouch
United States
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Pissy pants
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Blie
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Too far gone
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
HiRveryone
Centre, United States
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Top comments
Zebidee 9
Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?
DocBastard 40
Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.
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Comments (61)
RedPanda900 0
I like beads.
bobjoefredsky 0
at least you aren't the idiots FML above yours. the girl who was talking about how she had sex? I'm like, yeh. whatever
Zebidee 9
Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?
Quasar55_fml 18
If you cannot take alcohol, then don't drink that much. YDI
zacharytk72 5
you like men, but that's okay...I like them too!
DocBastard 40
I'm sorry, do you have some kind of special power that allows you to detect the anonymous OP's gender and sexual orientation? Or are you making a stupid assumption and an asinine gay joke in one fell swoop? The amount of failure in your three simple words is simply mind-boggling. I'm very impressed that you were able to make yourself look so incredibly foolish in such an astoundingly swift fashion.
aardvarkish 17
I think 16 has a point, maybe.
DocBastard 40
I'm glad you're strong enough to admit it.
Hidan_fml 0
You and the OP should get together. Hahaha :D
DocBastard 40
Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.
Acousticpixie14 6
Seriously...and if you're going to be stupid enough to go out and drink underage, at least have the common sense to stay at a friend's house until you sober up. Why do drunken idiots always think they can fool someone into thinking they're sober? It's not like it's hard to tell when someone is drunk. YDI, OP. I hope that now your parents are on you like flies on shit.
MissPurple_fml 0
How do you know OP was drinking underage? In Canada, the legal drinking age is 18, which is still a normal age to be living at home with your parents. Doesn't change that fact that it was stupid to get drunk in the first place, but OP wasn't necessarily underage...
Acousticpixie14 6
Well if OP wasn't underage, what would be the point of trying to hide it from his parents?
TryptamineDreame 0
Lmao someone can't hold their liquor. If your parents don't allow you to drink, then you shouldn't drink, it would be best for you in the long run, especially if you are underage :)
ohmek 0
YDI for getting that drunk and your parents still awake to catch you.
Rakistazz 0
shit happens!! dont go home yet when your drunk stupid mate!!
mandypandypants 4
could have been worse. i threw up all over the dishes and then passed out.