Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KnowsWhatAJokeIs 4
Måske them pay for a good wash and new seat upholstery.
Tillie Jenkins 5
Id be sending them the bill for getting it detailed..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
KnowsWhatAJokeIs 4
Måske them pay for a good wash and new seat upholstery.
KnowsWhatAJokeIs 4
make*
Tillie Jenkins 5
Id be sending them the bill for getting it detailed..
thehaystackerine 20
reason #538274 (I completely pulled that number out of my ass) why I only buy used fleet vehicles (police interceptor, fire crew Suburbans,etc that have vynle seats, and rubber floor coverings instead of carpet... I have kids, and therefore have these kinds of messes all the time.
David Horgan 8
My Ford Ranger had diamond plastic floors. It was awesome.
David Horgan 8
Those are usually pretty well built cars also. Heavy duty everything.
Lobby_Bee 18
The next owner doesn't need to know about these details.
Ciela 22
damn, hope you didn't give them a hard time about it
RichardPencil 32
Your mom did give birth to you, so now you can say you’re even. As for your aunt, she needs to pay to get your car cleaned until the puke smell is gone.
aruden 25
If they want to treat you and your car like a taxi charge them a $100 like a taxi would for cleaning fees.
DanielleinDC 34
You could tell your mom and aunt that they need to pay the cleaning fees, but your mom will probably remind you of how many times she changed your diapers/cleaned up your messes. Next time you act as DD for your mom and aunt, just make sure they both have barf bags on hand.
Mungolikecandy 19
They pay the cost of the cleanup or you never designate again. Also, invest in some waterproof seat covers and vomit bags if you ever do act as the driver again.,
Donut_Wizard 23
Well technically it isn’t your car anymore. See if your mother really did pee on the seat, that does mean she has claimed ownership of it. But, you should still lick the steering wheel in case there is any doubt in court.