Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Black out
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Can't handle my drinks
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Too far gone
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Top comments
Zebidee 9
Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?
DocBastard 40
Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.
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Comments (61)
in_wonderland 1
oopsies. i've definitely been in similar situations. oh well, they'll get over it and one day you'll be laughing your ass off about this.
Chris19801012 0
aghhhhhhhhh, the good ole days
nerdsgetmehot 23
I've learned that if you're living with you parents, whether you're of legal drinking age or not, it's usually best not to come home drunk/wasted. Attempting to throw up quietly into a plastic mixing bowl at 1am was all it took to convince me of this. Actually, it's usually just best not to get drunk/wasted at all. Bleh.
MuZex3 0
that's why his names awkward drunk ^_^
Madrias 36
Don't drink if you can't hack it.
sipher16 0
so how is that technique working for you?
r9310 0
why is she waering one shoe in the house?
Skatejock21 0
you know... it's much easier to act sober when you are sober.. doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
tifa_14 0
just one of her shoes? lol
Kaneila0517 0
haha been there but my acting sober part worked, my parents did not realize I was drunk but they wouldn't even mind