Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML
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Top comments
hayleybee44 12
I hope he washed his hands afterwards...
runninggirl8 16
at least nothing terrible happened
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Comments (53)
khorstmye 15
Well now we know what the secret sauce is...
tormcn 26
That's disturbing.
C001Gir1 17
No, that's masturbing ;-)
tormcn 26
Touché!
worldclassrager 41
Watching **** on the job? Really? I don't believe that's something that should be allowed...
SookyLala 13
its not technically, im pretty sure it falls under the 'sexual harrassment' law
jessmonkey 15
Haha atta boy
BlondePsycho 43
I'm really curious why the **** sounded like crying
MortenM 17
You're only visiting the nicest placest on the internet I take it?
mr_dour 16
snuff, nuff said.
littleking94 14
that's hilarious. Bus boy don't give no *****
Miss_Mandi 29
Tsk tsk. Some people have no shame.
Jessifer_V 11
Well, the opportunity arose..among other things.
tomvertigo 17
Please tell me he wasn't handling the meat and potatoes...
johnny692 6
well now we know where your store gets their milk from.