Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML
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Top comments
hayleybee44 12
I hope he washed his hands afterwards...
runninggirl8 16
at least nothing terrible happened
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Comments (53)
sorainu 18
When I accidentally comment on the wrong fml >.>
Miss_Chevious 37
what a waste of a first comment
runninggirl8 16
at least nothing terrible happened
Rinat_fml 26
It was terrible, for OP.
zahidnasir 22
i think its ok for a lady like you
jforren 14
Okay, but why would it be okay to say that?
hayleybee44 12
I hope he washed his hands afterwards...
iPixelCheese 19
Umm. I have no words, sorry that you had to witness that OP
pooldude 24
you just said you had no word! Then you go ahead and... this is why i have trust issues
dakatabg 31
Killing some time on the phone
Misskreher 30
A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do
Tournesol143 28
I imagine the people hearing that while waiting for their food must think the cooks are pretty passionate about their jobs!
extrasnipes 22
Oh yeah oh yeah milk it milk good. Not to fast though. Mhmm oh yeah that's amazing. Oh Mhm cum on, where's the special sauce.
Sandsh8rk 36
I guess **** can't wait for anything.
satanic_fml 13
sounds like the start of a porno
archnarquibquib 21
Who watches **** at work? What the ****?
katydid91 31
Right?! Especially in the food industry!