Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
And people told me my reverse tinted windows were a bad idea...
Artanias 0
Bwahahahahahaha, thats so awesome, the obese guy is instantly my favourite person in the world. Also FYL indeed, even if i think what the guy did is brilliant :P
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Comments (158)
glassisass 0
thats not an fml. its really funny. quit quit being a baby about it. its not like he drugged you then had sex with your lifeless body. and you got AIDS. and your going to die in a month or something
cocacola999 27
Umm.... By your definition this site has no true FML-s.
tangerine_12 0
umm...yeah #11, this site is for people who have FUNNY mishaps every day, not completely TRAGIC stories. that would be about as interesting as MILA.
alyzandra 0
How is this an FML? I wish someone other than the thirteen-year-old 'tards on here would start moderating these things properly. THIS IS NOT AN FML. That was merely a brief, awkward exchange with a creeper.
Khalavaster 0
LMFAO. FYL
sonic1 0
i find this extremely hilarious. i would have laughed to tears rather than felt the need to post on FML...
Mnemic 6
Hahaha, have fun sleeping now without the mental image popping up... :-o After I read this I've a mental image of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers in my head... :-o 'So do you like me *******?'
sukatlife 0
or hAve fun eating
i_is_a_tr00l 0
Thats so cool. I hope it happens to me.
penizulaface 0
im doing this. im kinda female and not fat though....
WTFLMFAO 0
lol (@) two cookies for you and btw ... wtf "kinda female?!" o.O"
salemwitch_fml 0
wtf is kinda female about this? mercy take back your cookie.... it's clearly confused and fat enough already
AAAAHHHH12 2
Sooo...are you part male? She-male? D:
wesley215 0
Shes saying it wouldnt work as well because shes a skinny girl. Not that she its kind of a girl.
Chfanfiction 0
So, trolls, should she not complain because it's a compliment or some bullshit?
Einstein714 0
I bet u watched the entire red light and were secretly aroused. clearly not a fml
sublime93 0
This sounds like it was thought up by a 13yr old.