Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first kiss. It would have been great if I wasn't playing spin the bottle as a 23-year-old. FML
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
hannahuk1986 0
Count your blessings that there are two girls willing to kiss a klutz like you.
hotpockets92 0
smooth
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Comments (107)
F_ur_life_douche 0
phail
hatemylife6 0
AHAH , youu suck at kissinng ! im 13 and better than you !
GumboVariation 0
Pretty hard to believe from someone who nicknames himself "hatemylife6".
powdermonkey 0
wow
FYLorYDIohno 12
bad kisser much ?
TheOtherNewest1 6
Christ, if you're that bad at kissing those lips, I can't wait to hear you're FML about the first time you try to eat pussy.
chiggawha2009 0
Lets hope it was just because of nerves
starshine3987 0
Hang in there tiger. Just remember not to drink to much before playing next time. You'll get there eventually.
Ninjaface 0
On the bright side, you get to have an apology threesome. ...Actually, don't, you'll probably just end up sticking it in their urethras.
BlinkOnceForYes 0
what, did you take a running start or what? You go in slooooowly.
CocoaFatRabbit 0
ha ha(the kid from the simpson's voice) ....you have no swag at all...