Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That's when you ask her politely to stop the car. Then you get out and jump off the dock. Seriously, if parents don't want to hear about their kids' sexual exploits, they shouldn't share their own. Especially one where mom gets poked in the ass.
ilovefall10 21
Oh that's lovely.
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Comments (197)
Tori_iheartu 7
Haha nice she must have a lot more to tell about that guy (;
honaizer 0
Thats just plain weird why would ur mom tell u that i would be like to much imformation
gothiccandy 9
And I would be like, please, take an English class and learn proper grammar.
11jaydajanssen11 0
Funny but gross!!
angela3825 1
Awkward...
kati25 1
Keepin it classy mom
mzsammy81g 1
Ur mothers a *****.
hateevryone 15
Really, mom?
athletedude5 0
Giggity
mandypandypants 4
Your mom and my mom should be best friends. My mom told me that she doesn't mind when my stepdad goes out of town because she knows she's gonna get off with or without him and showed me her vibrator. ..........Worst day of my life.
RedPillSucks 33
It really could have been worse. She could have pointed out who she gets off with when your step dad is out of town.
madskittlesftw 5
Whoa man just take it easy! I agree with him OP already said the car was stopped so why bother asking? No where does it say she started driving again. Stop flaming so hard and think about it before you start raging at people. It makes you look like a jackass and an idiot.