Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That's when you ask her politely to stop the car. Then you get out and jump off the dock. Seriously, if parents don't want to hear about their kids' sexual exploits, they shouldn't share their own. Especially one where mom gets poked in the ass.
ilovefall10 21
Oh that's lovely.
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Comments (197)
Dcm210 19
TMI
kdavy01 4
Tht sux
rockerlove2013 6
Alrighty one of those things tht u didnt need to know gross srry OP
Trembelwick 5
This just made my dad, LOL that's awesome. Sorry you had to hear that though :P
MigraineurOfLife 15
O_O Wow! Now you will think of this episode every time you see a lake, go swimming, get a splinter, sit on a dock, get in a car, try to sleep, etc....
Driveshaft 5
Damn! Epitome of TMI!!! Should've asked if she saved the splinter as a memento... FYL for having to get that visual though.
jhart97 4
And they say chivalry is dead..he was nice enough to stop banging her, and finish in the car. What a gentlemen.
Mustang128 0
Now that's a classy mom!
albsure23 3
Ewwwwww! That's tough to hear!
FML_14u2c 14
Next time, walk to work (or have a friend pick you up.)