Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Idontgivedamn 0
He probably doesn't mean it to be mean, he's trying to be a funny in dumb/cute way.
gildedmuse 0
I am almost positive that saying things like, "I'd rather date a girl who was a little fatter" as if it's a negative is exactly the sort of thing that makes girls wonder, "Wait, am I fat?" constantly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
Meowinx 5
Shes a ginger. They have no souls therefore no opinions.
kayvan 8
Just laugh and pinch his love handles and get yourself on a regular exercise regimen if the love handles bother you.
Ajjas013 6
You seem to have a lot of experience with that ;) *Deliberately doesn't give minty comments to provoke mercy*
CallMeHush 1
Wait... does that work?
oopsohwell 0
ydi fat fatty fat fatty fatass!!! FADASS!!!
transcedental 18
#53 you are an ass assy ass assy asshole!!! ARSE!!! o/. T_T
Mumblstiltskin 0
He probably learned that from this sexist article I read recently. One of the "subtle" ways to tell your girlfriend to lose weight is to "playful" pinch her lovehandles...Dumb him if he doesn't like the way you look, probably a tool anyway.
Mumblstiltskin 0
Actually there are a number of factors for why people are "over" weight. Diet and exercise are the big ones, but biology and family history also play a big part.
jillz 0
Maybe he's trying to keep your ego in check; keep you feeling small. I doubt anyone is that stupid, that they'd joke to a girl about her weight and think it wouldn't hurt her feelings somehow. He meant for you to feel that little sting, either because he gets his enjoyment that way (pushing your buttons) or he was trying to find a 'safe' way to make you aware of that 'muffin top'. Tell him never to tell jokes at your expense again. Then lose the weight. Then, if he still tells jokes that sting, lose the boyfriend.
kissonthelips 0
HA fattie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edenbeam 19
Your boyfriend sounds like a tool. = /