Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Idontgivedamn 0
He probably doesn't mean it to be mean, he's trying to be a funny in dumb/cute way.
gildedmuse 0
I am almost positive that saying things like, "I'd rather date a girl who was a little fatter" as if it's a negative is exactly the sort of thing that makes girls wonder, "Wait, am I fat?" constantly.
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Comments (164)
tweetbaby14 18
well do you know the muffin man if so get me some chocolate chip
ayjayyuk 0
extreme
BloodSurigam 2
That;s actually really cute.. You clearly have no sense of humour.
crazykidd011_fml 0
to # 144: you're a dumb ass.
upshawty 0
your boyfriends amaziiiing :)
plzdunstpdamusic 0
This should be on MLIA, not FML.
Professor59 2
The dumping will make a good learning experience for him with his next unfortunate girlfriend. Seriously, if there's no consequences for his actions, you're telling him it's perfectly OK to do that.
starburgerdeluxe 0
oh wow....... I would have smacked him lol
purpleisacolor 0
why do some girls expect their boyfriends to be humorless robot slaves? its not like he was being mean about it
sh3pherdd 0
maybe you need to lose weight?