Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML
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Top comments
YourEvilHero 12
let it hatch it's the right thing to do
liveyourlife_191 8
Either you have a really bad posture, or your head was down near the faucet?... I can't think of any reasonable explanation to how this is possible...But then again I've heard of many injuries caused by sneezing. FYL
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Comments (101)
YourEvilHero 12
let it hatch it's the right thing to do
Naomimi_fml 6
I sense an abortion debate
cruxx 0
Breakfast!
sr101998 0
Only if I get toast with it
silentbutfunny 0
Me gusta eggs
PYLrulz 17
Throw in some bacon too!
lindseykcool 6
I'm so sorry, but is it wrong of me to find this one of the funniest FMLs I've read? Take care of it and let it hatch. :)
zombiegold 23
Huevos es muy bueno.
Jonkbaby 23
in soviet russia hands wash you
herrobear 0
Oh. You're one of those people who lacks self control when they sneeze...
DayAndNite 8
Hands wash you in America too. How do you think you are able to clean your body?
maxwells_hammer 5
With soap hopefully
liveyourlife_191 8
Either you have a really bad posture, or your head was down near the faucet?... I can't think of any reasonable explanation to how this is possible...But then again I've heard of many injuries caused by sneezing. FYL
Ali_Br_fml 33
Or OP could just be a little person. They wash their hands too!!!
cruxx 0
Op could also be tall, and have to bend over the sink to wash their hands
IndigoArkanian 4
Apparently it was such a violent, explosive sneeze that OP doubled over and hit their head. Nbd I do that sometimes too...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
On a side note; I got moderated for apparently questioning the authenticity of an FML. Where's the consistency FML staff??!!
Keebz_02 0
My wife has done it as well. Its the funniest thing ever to witness.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Ok don't panic. Unless you do want to panic because that's what most people would do when they find out they have brain damage.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I wish my brain damage could talk.
sparkman97 7
Brain damage, ever since the day i was born Drugs what they used to say i was on They said i never knew which way i was goin But everywhere i go they keep playing my so-ACHOOOO!
Commander223 9
You beat to it, Sparkman!
jackrileymac 4
You must have 47 chromosomes
OhHushDear 11
That is horribly rude! People who actually have that disorder can't help it.
OhHushDear 11
I don't think I like you -__-
THE_A_TEEN 28
What did he say?
cruxx 0
Life starts at conception
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
I agree with you, but what does this have to do with the FML?
idontknowyou123 0
Don't let it hatch! Crack it open and make an omlet!
PedoPancakes 7
Haha your comment is BOSS. :D
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Atleast you didn't stab yourself in the head with a fork this time.
mama2b3 20
Um just based on the things you said in this fml I think you should probably go to a hospital op. NOW.
Michael_92 20
However DON'T DRIVE!!!
silentbutfunny 0
13 never got a goose egg before? I got one after falling on my bike... And falling down the stairs... And running into a tree.... And slipping on ice... And tripping into a hooker... (ok the first one was real)
Enslaved 38
You wash your hands strange. Why is your face so close to the faucet?
thisisafunnyname 12
To see it better. Or cause the faucet smells good.
danileah 0
or op could have leaned in and when op sneezed hit their head. ive done it pleanty of times.