Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
beerab 0
That's just MEAN on your part.
mardigrasqueen 0
You are a pompous bastard. You deserved a knife, not a pencil.
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Comments (813)
Michael_A_Seay 12
WTF is wrong with you, you deserve death.
BriTisHBirD 11
I'm pretty sure the OP didn't deserve to be stabbed with a pencil. It's a dollar.. Even for a homeless person i don't think a dollar is gonna change his life.
CaptainFarrel 2
I live in Vancouver, and I can tell you right now, if I saw someone doing that to a homeless man here, I'd be the one doing the stabbing. I've come close to being homeless. It's not fun. The vast majority of the homeless would be absolutely anywhere else but where they are if they could. They're not sitting on the street panhandling because they want to. You should seriously gain some maturity OP. Oh, and by the way, since you're dumb enough to do something like this I'm sure it didn't cross your mind that many of the homeless also have diseases like HIV or Hepatitis C, either from high-risk behaviours or from various misfortunes. Do you really want to give them a reason to stick you with the first sharp object they can get their hands on? Here's a hint, used syringes are sharp, they contain remnants of the user's blood and tissues, and they make good stabbing implements. Next time, show some respect, or you might sentence yourself to a long, slow, unpleasant, celibate (generally people don't like to have sex with a walking lethal injection) death. If you're too unintelligent to understand my long rant, let me sum it up for you: You. Are. A. Dumbass.
1911 3
why is there a your life sucks button in this fml
1meme129 9
I love seeing, or in this case reading about, bastards like you meeting your match.
karen1991 15
I would have punch u in the nuts and shoved that dollar up ur other end.
ballsacks33 17
Dick.
Silentcrafter11 13
how's that lead infection?
Smoxxii 17
Yeah. You're kind of an asshole... I hope took the dollar + whatever cash you had on you.
threer 30
Some people need money, and others need to be stabbed with pencils.